¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-15 1256

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?

I want to learn a lot of skills
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency(virtual Currency)
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?


I want to learn a lot of skills.
>> CORRECT!
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
>> The skills I want to have are speaking English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
>> Among them, I want to have investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency (virtual Currency)
>> These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes investing in cryptocurrency (virtual Currency).
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
>> I'm so happy about the development of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
>> 
But, investment technology is not easy as I thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
>> Many people said, "there's a high return in high-risk investments."
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
>> Sometimes I think investment looks similar to gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.
>> So, if I have a good investment skill, I want to have a stable investment sense.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135625 HOMEWORK - What is a busy day like for you? How do you handle it? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 1117
135624 Body parts / ½ÅüºÎÀ§ ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2
135623 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 1331
135622 homework - what makes a person feel unsuessful? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 1404
135621 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 0
135620 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 587
135619 What do you think of people comparing themselves to others? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1048
135618 What health problems do you worry about most? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 758
135617 What does a busy day look like? How do you handle it? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 0
135616 Negotiation ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1334
135615 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1485
135614 What are the things that you would/would never do for a friend? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 0
135613 homework 03.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1084
135612 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1048
135611 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1
135610 Do you like going to parties or any events with your friends?... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 976
135609 why is English fluency significant for you? ¹è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 870
135608 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1
135607 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 787
135606 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 867

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04