¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-15 1491

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?

I want to learn a lot of skills
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency(virtual Currency)
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?


I want to learn a lot of skills.
>> CORRECT!
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
>> The skills I want to have are speaking English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
>> Among them, I want to have investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency (virtual Currency)
>> These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes investing in cryptocurrency (virtual Currency).
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
>> I'm so happy about the development of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
>> 
But, investment technology is not easy as I thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
>> Many people said, "there's a high return in high-risk investments."
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
>> Sometimes I think investment looks similar to gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.
>> So, if I have a good investment skill, I want to have a stable investment sense.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136842 What are some good things to ask someone you just met? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1231
136841 my school ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1788
136840 What most worries you about global warming? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1957
136839 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1682
136838 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1271
136837 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1334
136836 Homework- I really appreciate it. À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1856
136835 place ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1
136834 What other English words with the short or lax vowel sound [ih]... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1336
136833 What things are there to look forward to about old age? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 2
136832 Homework 4 ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 2091
136831 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 0
136830 Language ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 2
136829 What are the pros and cons of rock climbing to keep fit and... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1759
136828 Not keeping pets ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1365
136827 Are you scared zombies? ÀÌ*³ë ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 2353
136826 29.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1
136825 How did soccer become your national sport? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 2155
136824 Who seems to be the best magic performer these days? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-30 1210
136823 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04