¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-15 1655

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?

I want to learn a lot of skills
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency(virtual Currency)
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?


I want to learn a lot of skills.
>> CORRECT!
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
>> The skills I want to have are speaking English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
>> Among them, I want to have investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency (virtual Currency)
>> These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes investing in cryptocurrency (virtual Currency).
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
>> I'm so happy about the development of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
>> 
But, investment technology is not easy as I thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
>> Many people said, "there's a high return in high-risk investments."
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
>> Sometimes I think investment looks similar to gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.
>> So, if I have a good investment skill, I want to have a stable investment sense.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139127 Is there a particular artist or band that has influenced your... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1362
139126 Vitamin ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1184
139125 Are you a health-conscious person? Why or why not? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1066
139124 Many kinds of contemporary music ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1004
139123 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1
139122 How do you typically spend your weekends, and what do you... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1162
139121 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 0
139120 What\'s good about the place where you were born? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1423
139119 in the middle ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1
139118 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 2
139117 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1
139116 Have you ever done something silly that you wish you had not... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 3
139115 Can you tell me more about why you don\'t like the president? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 0
139114 Agust 9th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 848
139113 Do you think today¡¯s actors are better than those from 30, 40,... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 2179
139112 Would you rather have the perfect body or be super intelligent? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1092
139111 2023.08.12 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1053
139110 What are your methods for avoiding errors? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1038
139109 Opinions ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 949
139108 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1004

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04