¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-15 707

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
It's raining as yesterday.
Of course, there were not many patients in the clinic.
Dr. MJ is trying to share the worry about decreased profit, and it makes me so stressed.
I know him well.
If this trend continues, he will suggest to expand our worktime.
As all we know, I really hate to expand our workload.
I think that the relationship between my wife and me had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.
And, the basical reason of it was resulted by the excessive workload before, I am sure.
My family is the most precious in my life, no doubt.
Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic songs in my computer and a rainfall sound outside the window.
My favorite song to sing is 'Blue Whale' by YB.
YB is a group sound and YB stands for Yoon do hyeon Band, I guess.
I like the vocal sound of YB.
Yoon has both powerful and emotional voice.
The song "Blue Whale" says that we can overcome this harsh situation together.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

It's good to see you again here on this page.

It has been raining in Korea for the past two days. Is this usual on winter? Perhaps, climate change altered the weather and the overall climate in the world. Thus, it may also bring profit and revenue shifts to businesses due to varied human behavior.

As I guessed before, you need to go back to a 7-day working schedule which is actually toxic however, it is really one of the ways in which profit is assured. Or maybe not. Hence, whatever you decide to be the solution to this existing problem, I hope that the plan will work so that no one will be worried of work tenure and revenue crisis.

I agree that the family suffers from the insufficient time spent with them. What time is left to play with your daughters or to have a conversation with your wife? It is tricky but serving two gods at a time may be difficult some time.

Anyway, I listened to Blue Whale and it is really the kind of jam of our era. It starts with an emotional  slow rhythm and develops to the rock part to signify intense emotions. Maybe the lyrics and music during our time had more meaning and artistic elements compared today. What do you think?

I am glad to check and suggest to your essay today. Thank you for your early submission. Then, please note down my suggestions and recall them when writing.

The combination of your long and short sentences created a good effect to the meaning of your essay. Keep up the great work!

See you on Monday!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

It's raining as yesterday.
>> Correct!

Of course, there were not many patients in the clinic.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ is trying to share the worry about decreased profit, and it makes me so stressed.
>> Correct!

I know him well.
>> Correct!

If this trend continues, he will suggest to expand our worktime.
>> Correct!

As all we know, I really hate to expand our workload.
>> As we all know, I really hate to expand our workload.

I think that the relationship between my wife and me had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.
>> I think that the relationship between my wife and I had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.

And, the basical reason of it was resulted by the excessive workload before, I am sure.
>> And, the basic reason of it resulted to the excessive workload before, I am sure.

My family is the most precious in my life, no doubt.
>> Correct!

Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic songs in my computer and a rainfall sound outside the window.
>> Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic song in my computer and the rainfall sound outside the window.

My favorite song to sing is 'Blue Whale' by YB.
>> Correct!

YB is a group sound and YB stands for Yoon do hyeon Band, I guess.
>> Correct!
Or: Hyeon Band

I like the vocal sound of YB.
>> Correct!

Yoon has both powerful and emotional voice.
>> Correct!

The song "Blue Whale" says that we can overcome this harsh situation together.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132409 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132408 If you had the power to stop and restart time, when would you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2189
132407 How do you think the world would be different if there was only... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1498
132406 My advice to him/her ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1157
132405 How do you foresee the sleep aid market changing in the next 10... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 3
132404 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2
132403 subway ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1408
132402 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2
132401 13.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132400 What\'s an accomplishment that may seem small to others but... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2387
132399 something that I borrowed from someone. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1441
132398 Share information about something that brings you joy. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132397 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132396 In the age of technology, do you think we\'re better or worse at... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1580
132395 Organization ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1264
132394 Have you ever been to the zoo? What did you see and hear? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132393 homework 11.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1783
132392 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1391
132391 Do you see yourself living abroad permanently? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1189
132390 What would you like your government to spend more money on... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04