¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-15 666

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
It's raining as yesterday.
Of course, there were not many patients in the clinic.
Dr. MJ is trying to share the worry about decreased profit, and it makes me so stressed.
I know him well.
If this trend continues, he will suggest to expand our worktime.
As all we know, I really hate to expand our workload.
I think that the relationship between my wife and me had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.
And, the basical reason of it was resulted by the excessive workload before, I am sure.
My family is the most precious in my life, no doubt.
Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic songs in my computer and a rainfall sound outside the window.
My favorite song to sing is 'Blue Whale' by YB.
YB is a group sound and YB stands for Yoon do hyeon Band, I guess.
I like the vocal sound of YB.
Yoon has both powerful and emotional voice.
The song "Blue Whale" says that we can overcome this harsh situation together.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

It's good to see you again here on this page.

It has been raining in Korea for the past two days. Is this usual on winter? Perhaps, climate change altered the weather and the overall climate in the world. Thus, it may also bring profit and revenue shifts to businesses due to varied human behavior.

As I guessed before, you need to go back to a 7-day working schedule which is actually toxic however, it is really one of the ways in which profit is assured. Or maybe not. Hence, whatever you decide to be the solution to this existing problem, I hope that the plan will work so that no one will be worried of work tenure and revenue crisis.

I agree that the family suffers from the insufficient time spent with them. What time is left to play with your daughters or to have a conversation with your wife? It is tricky but serving two gods at a time may be difficult some time.

Anyway, I listened to Blue Whale and it is really the kind of jam of our era. It starts with an emotional  slow rhythm and develops to the rock part to signify intense emotions. Maybe the lyrics and music during our time had more meaning and artistic elements compared today. What do you think?

I am glad to check and suggest to your essay today. Thank you for your early submission. Then, please note down my suggestions and recall them when writing.

The combination of your long and short sentences created a good effect to the meaning of your essay. Keep up the great work!

See you on Monday!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

It's raining as yesterday.
>> Correct!

Of course, there were not many patients in the clinic.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ is trying to share the worry about decreased profit, and it makes me so stressed.
>> Correct!

I know him well.
>> Correct!

If this trend continues, he will suggest to expand our worktime.
>> Correct!

As all we know, I really hate to expand our workload.
>> As we all know, I really hate to expand our workload.

I think that the relationship between my wife and me had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.
>> I think that the relationship between my wife and I had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.

And, the basical reason of it was resulted by the excessive workload before, I am sure.
>> And, the basic reason of it resulted to the excessive workload before, I am sure.

My family is the most precious in my life, no doubt.
>> Correct!

Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic songs in my computer and a rainfall sound outside the window.
>> Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic song in my computer and the rainfall sound outside the window.

My favorite song to sing is 'Blue Whale' by YB.
>> Correct!

YB is a group sound and YB stands for Yoon do hyeon Band, I guess.
>> Correct!
Or: Hyeon Band

I like the vocal sound of YB.
>> Correct!

Yoon has both powerful and emotional voice.
>> Correct!

The song "Blue Whale" says that we can overcome this harsh situation together.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133109 What\'s your thought on the natural disasters happening arond... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 1
133108 Fredy\'s pizza store ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 1425
133107 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 654
133106 Why do most people prefer traveling abroad? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 1017
133105 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 0
133104 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 1287
133103 HOMEWORK FOR 08.12.2023 WRITING TASK: Do you know someone who... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 3
133102 Sleep ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-09 2
133101 Goals ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-09 1611
133100 Art ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-09 1
133099 Vest travel country ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-09 1558
133098 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-09 3
133097 homework 12.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-09 1100
133096 Is mental health more important than physical health? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-09 717
133095 Which places in the world do you think are too dangerous to... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-08 1145
133094 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What will you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-08 2
133093 What rude behavior do you see in public every day? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-08 4
133092 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-08 2
133091 Teacher ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-08 3
133090 Banks ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-08 874

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04