¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-15 655

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
It's raining as yesterday.
Of course, there were not many patients in the clinic.
Dr. MJ is trying to share the worry about decreased profit, and it makes me so stressed.
I know him well.
If this trend continues, he will suggest to expand our worktime.
As all we know, I really hate to expand our workload.
I think that the relationship between my wife and me had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.
And, the basical reason of it was resulted by the excessive workload before, I am sure.
My family is the most precious in my life, no doubt.
Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic songs in my computer and a rainfall sound outside the window.
My favorite song to sing is 'Blue Whale' by YB.
YB is a group sound and YB stands for Yoon do hyeon Band, I guess.
I like the vocal sound of YB.
Yoon has both powerful and emotional voice.
The song "Blue Whale" says that we can overcome this harsh situation together.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

It's good to see you again here on this page.

It has been raining in Korea for the past two days. Is this usual on winter? Perhaps, climate change altered the weather and the overall climate in the world. Thus, it may also bring profit and revenue shifts to businesses due to varied human behavior.

As I guessed before, you need to go back to a 7-day working schedule which is actually toxic however, it is really one of the ways in which profit is assured. Or maybe not. Hence, whatever you decide to be the solution to this existing problem, I hope that the plan will work so that no one will be worried of work tenure and revenue crisis.

I agree that the family suffers from the insufficient time spent with them. What time is left to play with your daughters or to have a conversation with your wife? It is tricky but serving two gods at a time may be difficult some time.

Anyway, I listened to Blue Whale and it is really the kind of jam of our era. It starts with an emotional  slow rhythm and develops to the rock part to signify intense emotions. Maybe the lyrics and music during our time had more meaning and artistic elements compared today. What do you think?

I am glad to check and suggest to your essay today. Thank you for your early submission. Then, please note down my suggestions and recall them when writing.

The combination of your long and short sentences created a good effect to the meaning of your essay. Keep up the great work!

See you on Monday!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

It's raining as yesterday.
>> Correct!

Of course, there were not many patients in the clinic.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ is trying to share the worry about decreased profit, and it makes me so stressed.
>> Correct!

I know him well.
>> Correct!

If this trend continues, he will suggest to expand our worktime.
>> Correct!

As all we know, I really hate to expand our workload.
>> As we all know, I really hate to expand our workload.

I think that the relationship between my wife and me had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.
>> I think that the relationship between my wife and I had a severe problem because I had no energy to treat my family warmly.

And, the basical reason of it was resulted by the excessive workload before, I am sure.
>> And, the basic reason of it resulted to the excessive workload before, I am sure.

My family is the most precious in my life, no doubt.
>> Correct!

Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic songs in my computer and a rainfall sound outside the window.
>> Since there is no patient in the clinic now, I am enjoying listening to a classic song in my computer and the rainfall sound outside the window.

My favorite song to sing is 'Blue Whale' by YB.
>> Correct!

YB is a group sound and YB stands for Yoon do hyeon Band, I guess.
>> Correct!
Or: Hyeon Band

I like the vocal sound of YB.
>> Correct!

Yoon has both powerful and emotional voice.
>> Correct!

The song "Blue Whale" says that we can overcome this harsh situation together.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133307 Gift ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 686
133306 I want to change my face alike jenny ¼­*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1010
133305 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133304 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 0
133303 HOMEWORK FOR 12/14: Writing Task: Could children be gaslighted... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1122
133302 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 568
133301 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 894
133300 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 791
133299 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 880
133298 What are some prejudices you have? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133297 My teeth are in good condition. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 788
133296 Memorable experience ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 612
133295 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133294 >> Do you think it¡¯s fair that so much of the world¡¯s wealth... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 806
133293 Best place in my country ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 899
133292 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 935
133291 Action to the confidential information ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 897
133290 Survey ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133289 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133288 What would you do if you had a few extra hours in a day? ÇÏ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04