¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

superaged

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-12-15 685

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the superaged society will drop social production ability.

The government should focus on the welfare and safty of the senior than challengable policies.

The young generation should be burden the senior's pention even they don't want to do.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Lily, it's a great day today!

I completely agree with your opinion that the government should prioritize the needs of the people. By doing so, it could help address the issue of low birth rates and other social problems. Sometimes, the government creates policies that they believe will benefit everyone, but in reality, it only serves to increase their popularity. 
Best regards, 
Aki.


I think that the superaged society will drop social production ability.
>>> CORRECT!

The government should focus on the welfare and safty of the senior than challengable policies.
>>> The government should focus on the welfare and safety of the seniors rather than challenging policies.

The young generation should be burden the senior's pention even they don't want to do.
>>> The young generation should burden the senior's pension even if they don't want to do it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132215 Do you like it when your friend tells you a secret? Why or why... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2
132214 The firework I have seen ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1672
132213 A letter of self introduction ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1356
132212 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Is having free... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 0
132211 What¡¯s one thing you could never live without and why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1340
132210 My wish ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1408
132209 Homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132208 Youth should not use face book ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1984
132207 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2
132206 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1742
132205 How important do you think is family ties and relations in your... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1283
132204 What time do you usually eat your meals everyday? How do you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1262
132203 How can you divide your time effectively between work and... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2112
132202 What do you like doing with your childhood friends whenever you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1024
132201 homework_231103 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2026
132200 WRITING TASK: What was the fondest memory you had with your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 4
132199 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1929
132198 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1203
132197 A valuable lesson or piece of advice you\\\'ve learned... ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 3758
132196 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1566

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04