¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2023-12-13 300

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If there isn¡¯t the religion
The world would be in confusion
They might not feel having conscious
Of crime.
And they couldn¡¯t be patient.
So a lot of criminal would happen to my naver.
We can learn a lot of things through the religion. Such as love forgiveness and thankful like this.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Sunny,
I understand that you do not have any religion but most of your insights are correct. Religion teaches and guides us on basic principles. 
Thank you for answering this. See you in class!
Aki~


If there isn¡¯t the religion. The world would be in confusion
>>> If there isn't any religion, the world will be in confusion.

They might not feel having conscious Of crime.
>>> People might not be conscious of crime.

And they couldn¡¯t be patient.
>>> CORRECT!

So a lot of criminal would happen to my naver.
>>> So a lot of crimes would happen to my neighborhood.

We can learn a lot of things through the religion. 
>>>  We can gain valuable insights and knowledge by studying and practicing religion.

Such as love forgiveness and thankful like this.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133511 homework 12.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 383
133510 Would you rather visit every country or fly to outer space? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 729
133509 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 3
133508 What subject would you like to be most knowledgeable about? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133507 Would you like to be a celebrity? What do you think are the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 0
133506 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 271
133505 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 274
133504 What country would you like to visit? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 370
133503 homework ±è*´ã ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 520
133502 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133501 The most interesting person ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 351
133500 HOMEWORK FOR 12.27.2023 WRITING TASK: What is more important,... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133499 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 599
133498 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 265
133497 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133496 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 454
133495 Are video games better for you than watching TV? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 313
133494 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1
133493 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 0
133492 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04