무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-12-12 428

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
There was a rude patient today.
In fact, she was a mother of the patient.
The patient is a 19 years male.
He visited us last Sunday and I diagnosed him a shingles.
Since he had a severe pain and dermatitis, I gave him a prescription with my best and a some kind of LED treatment which can decrease the pain.
Yesterday, I found that his symptom got worse, so I changed the prescription.
And I stated that he better go to a hospital for advanced treatment that includes admission if the symptom won't be improved.
Today, his mom called us and said, "Because of your clinic, my son was suffered from severe pain. Now my baby is waiting for seeing a doctor in a large hospital, I'll ask a compensation for it later."
She seemed to have a guilty sense about her 18years baby and reflect her anger to us.
I called her and asked her baby's condition, and listened to her talking.
She seemed to became more calm, but she requested me a refund for my treatment.
I replied politely, "No."
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

If we try to do a statistics of having rude/ crazy patients seven days a week, the score is 1-1; 1 for Monday for a good day, and 1 for Tuesday for the case of the mother.

You could have never handled it better. I really think that saying 'no' in this case was just and fair after hearing out the frustrations of the mother of her son's agonizing pain. Sometimes, I can be in this lady's shoes. I may freak out if my son suffers from severe pain. Imagine one of your daughters getting shingles and you will realize why she acted that way. The thing here is that her son is an adult and should manage his pain. 

As a doctor, I know that you need to give the basic treatment for diseases and observe how the situation progresses. In this case, his pain grew more which means that there may be something aggravating the shingles. Well, I am not so sure about this so, please explain it in class tomorrow.

As an expert in empathy and parental psychology, I commend you for a job well done for handling this case of the mother. 

You can write very good direct quotation sentences and use accurate punctuation marks, well done! Kindly study my suggestions for your mastery. Overall, it was a very informative and vivid explanation of accounts, excellent!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

There was a rude patient today.
>> Correct!

In fact, she was a mother of the patient.
>> In fact, she was the mother of the patient.

The patient is a 19 years male.
>> The patient is a 19-year old male.

He visited us last Sunday and I diagnosed him a shingles.
>> He visited us last Sunday and I diagnosed him with shingles.

Since he had a severe pain and dermatitis, I gave him a prescription with my best and a some kind of LED treatment which can decrease the pain.
>> Since he had a severe pain and dermatitis, I gave him a prescription with my best and some kind of LED treatment which can decrease the pain.

Yesterday, I found that his symptom got worse, so I changed the prescription.
>> Correct!

And I stated that he better go to a hospital for advanced treatment that includes admission if the symptom won't be improved.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
Or: And I stated that he would better go to a hospital for advanced treatment that includes admission if the symptom won't be improved.

Today, his mom called us and said, "Because of your clinic, my son was suffered from severe pain. Now my baby is waiting for seeing a doctor in a large hospital, I'll ask a compensation for it later."
>> Today, his mom called us and said, "Because of your clinic, my son suffered from severe pain. Now my baby is waiting (for seeing/to see) a doctor in a large hospital, I'll ask for a compensation for it later."

She seemed to have a guilty sense about her 18years baby and reflect her anger to us.
>>She seemed to have a guilty sense about her 18-year old baby and reflects her anger to us.

I called her and asked her baby's condition, and listened to her talking.
>> Correct!
Or: I called her and asked her baby's condition, and listened to her explanation.

She seemed to became more calm, but she requested me a refund for my treatment.
>> She seemed to become more calm, but she requested me a refund for my treatment.

I replied politely, "No."
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
134032 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-01-19 452
134031 What’s new with you? 최*혜 완료 2024-01-19 1
134030 What kind of person would be the perfect neighbor? 최*혜 완료 2024-01-19 3
134029 homework 김*린 완료 2024-01-19 1
134028 essay 7 송*승 완료 2024-01-19 283
134027 An incident that changed my life/belief. 정*환 완료 2024-01-19 428
134026 18.Jan.2024 김*정 완료 2024-01-19 1
134025 What has surprised you in a new place? 권*지 완료 2024-01-19 3
134024 If you were going to recommend a trip to someone, would it be... 권*지 완료 2024-01-19 3
134023 Do you prefer talking with others face to face or on the phone? 김*아 완료 2024-01-19 5
134022 Tell me about the best message you\'ve ever received. 김*아 완료 2024-01-19 4
134021 In your opinion, which source is more important and beneficial,... 김*규 완료 2024-01-19 1
134020 How are you good at time management 윤*빈 완료 2024-01-19 622
134019 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-01-19 279
134018 What are the disadvantages of not learning another language? 문*현 완료 2024-01-18 200
134017 homework 01.18 최*� 완료 2024-01-18 446
134016 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-01-18 188
134015 What do understand with this saying, \" If you are in Rome, do... 황*은 완료 2024-01-18 673
134014 Travel Pros and cons 황*혜 완료 2024-01-18 541
134013 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-01-18 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]