¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-11 939

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What should be the legal age to drink alcohol?

In Korea, we can buy or drink alcohol must be 20 years old in Korean age.
In differently, In Germany, if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
It's interesting that each country has different legal age.
But, actually alcohol is not good for healthy.
And also, many accidents occur because of alcohol.
In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed a few months.
Often bad minors use the fake ID cards.
So, In my opinion, it should be legal age is high school student or adult who can take some responsibility.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What should be the legal age to drink alcohol?


In Korea, we can buy or drink alcohol must be 20 years old in Korean age.
>> In Korea, we must be 20 years old in Korean age so we can buy or drink alcohol.
In differently, In Germany, if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
>> In Germany, it's different because if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
It's interesting that each country has a different legal age.
>> CORRECT!
But, actually alcohol is not good for healthy.
>> But, actually alcohol is not good for the health.
And also, many accidents occur because of alcohol.
>> CORRECT!
In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed a few months.
>> In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed for a few months.
Often bad minors use the fake ID cards.
>> Often times, bad minors use fake ID cards.
So, In my opinion, it should be legal age is high school student or adult who can take some responsibility.
>> So, in my opinion, the legal age should be at around a high school student's age, or an adult who can take some responsibility.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131692 Thomas S. Szasz said: \"Suicide is a fundamental human right.... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 5
131691 What does a perfect day include? What is the weather like? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131690 homework 10.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1820
131689 My least favorite music ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 2296
131688 What\'s your thought on the article, in particular, the man... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1
131687 What three things can you do today to help nature? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1
131686 My future house ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 2010
131685 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131684 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131683 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 2306
131682 WRITING TASK: How can we maintain our healthy routine? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 5
131681 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 2
131680 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1928
131679 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1799
131678 What daily activities help you to be creative? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1934
131677 How do you handle a situation when someone\'s lame excuse can be... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1580
131676 What are the usual excuses you made when you were a student and... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1814
131675 Is it important to adjust to another person\'s personality? Why... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1875
131674 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1518
131673 What country do you want to live when your retire? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04