¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-11 263

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What should be the legal age to drink alcohol?

In Korea, we can buy or drink alcohol must be 20 years old in Korean age.
In differently, In Germany, if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
It's interesting that each country has different legal age.
But, actually alcohol is not good for healthy.
And also, many accidents occur because of alcohol.
In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed a few months.
Often bad minors use the fake ID cards.
So, In my opinion, it should be legal age is high school student or adult who can take some responsibility.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What should be the legal age to drink alcohol?


In Korea, we can buy or drink alcohol must be 20 years old in Korean age.
>> In Korea, we must be 20 years old in Korean age so we can buy or drink alcohol.
In differently, In Germany, if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
>> In Germany, it's different because if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
It's interesting that each country has a different legal age.
>> CORRECT!
But, actually alcohol is not good for healthy.
>> But, actually alcohol is not good for the health.
And also, many accidents occur because of alcohol.
>> CORRECT!
In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed a few months.
>> In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed for a few months.
Often bad minors use the fake ID cards.
>> Often times, bad minors use fake ID cards.
So, In my opinion, it should be legal age is high school student or adult who can take some responsibility.
>> So, in my opinion, the legal age should be at around a high school student's age, or an adult who can take some responsibility.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133124 Should parents limit the number of activities their kids... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 0
133123 WRITING TASK: What are the disadvantages of collecting items?... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2
133122 Problem about vocabulary ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 522
133121 I am offended by rude people, but I try to be as kind as... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 374
133120 I think it has changed with the times. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 405
133119 How do you stay committed to your goals and priorities,... ¾ö*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2
133118 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 1
133117 rice ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 565
133116 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 1
133115 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 1
133114 Have you ever disagreed with a manager\'s methods at work? How... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 643
133113 Tell me anything about hotel membership. Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 784
133112 Reduce food waste ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 317
133111 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 805
133110 Why do some people invite others to visit their place? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 2
133109 What\'s your thought on the natural disasters happening arond... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 1
133108 Fredy\'s pizza store ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 702
133107 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 330
133106 Why do most people prefer traveling abroad? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 394
133105 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-10 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04