¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.11

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-11 485

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What should be the legal age to drink alcohol?

In Korea, we can buy or drink alcohol must be 20 years old in Korean age.
In differently, In Germany, if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
It's interesting that each country has different legal age.
But, actually alcohol is not good for healthy.
And also, many accidents occur because of alcohol.
In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed a few months.
Often bad minors use the fake ID cards.
So, In my opinion, it should be legal age is high school student or adult who can take some responsibility.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What should be the legal age to drink alcohol?


In Korea, we can buy or drink alcohol must be 20 years old in Korean age.
>> In Korea, we must be 20 years old in Korean age so we can buy or drink alcohol.
In differently, In Germany, if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
>> In Germany, it's different because if they are over the 14 years old, they can drink beer at a restaurant.
It's interesting that each country has a different legal age.
>> CORRECT!
But, actually alcohol is not good for healthy.
>> But, actually alcohol is not good for the health.
And also, many accidents occur because of alcohol.
>> CORRECT!
In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed a few months.
>> In case of Korea, when restaurants and stores sell alcohol or cigarettes to minors, they must be closed for a few months.
Often bad minors use the fake ID cards.
>> Often times, bad minors use fake ID cards.
So, In my opinion, it should be legal age is high school student or adult who can take some responsibility.
>> So, in my opinion, the legal age should be at around a high school student's age, or an adult who can take some responsibility.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135788 Have you ever been stung by a jellyfish or a sea urchin? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 731
135787 homework 03.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 741
135786 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 840
135785 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 753
135784 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 429
135783 Is it expensive to stay or have a vacation in your city? Why or... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 618
135782 2023.03.22 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 1
135781 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 1
135780 How to keep a positive mindest when facing disappointments? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 742
135779 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 0
135778 Describe a friend who has played an important part in your life. ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 5
135777 Talk about why the free school lunch program in South Korea is... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 0
135776 Do you like visiting science museums? Why or why not? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 815
135775 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 428
135774 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 645
135773 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 513
135772 Is flossing important? Why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 659
135771 What could be some reasons why there are people who betray their... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 332
135770 Vocabulary ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 689
135769 test test test test test test test test test test test test test... Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 328

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04