¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-11 1161

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
Happy Monday!
Since I was so worried if some staff would resign, I made a speech about the relationship bewteen the discomfort and the growth in the morning conference.
Even though I am not sure it would resulted by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.
Today's profit was not bad relatively, so Dr. MJ seemed to be more stable than other days.
There was a foreigner who could speak English after a long time.
As you know, I really longed for that kind of patient.
He is from Uzbec and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon city.
He got a folliculitis on his chin, so I gave him a prescription and explained about his disease fluently.
And, there was an aesthetic client who watched my Youtube last year.
She told me that she got a faith because of the video.
Fortunately, there was no rude patient today.
If someone acts so rude, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail.
It is a loss of him/her, I am sure.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Happy Tuesday to you. Nowadays, I feel guilty that I cannot check your essays on  the day or hours after your submission. I hope you understand my situation. 

Anyway, I am so glad that your Monday was temperate like the weather and Dr. MJ's mood. Have you ever noticed that starting your day in a calm and pleasant manner makes the energy in your clinic flow smoothly and bring in more profit? This cannot be easily explained but it manifests when you display good behavior as well as high focus on the tasks at work. This is hard to explain and maybe, we can discuss more about this in class. It is called vibration and there are energies that are perfect to one another, you need to attract these to make you more successful at work.

You actually had one of the patients who watched you on YouTube who you enjoyed speaking with while getting her procedure. I hope more of your clients who have seen and experienced your service will walk in your door and tell their testimonies of how good your team is in the field of dermatology.

As of the Uzbek patient, that is a win-win situation- he pays you to perform his procedure and speaks English with you as well. Isn't that awesome? It is safe to say that you had a perfect Monday after a long time.

Invest in these kind of days when everything is doing well and no one is rude except Dr. MJ. ^^

Take a look at the grammar suggestions underscored in some sentences and congratulations to all your correct sentences!

I will see you then.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Happy Monday!
>> Correct!

Since I was so worried if some staff would resign, I made a speech about the relationship bewteen the discomfort and the growth in the morning conference.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
Or: between

Even though I am not sure it would resulted by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.
>> Even though I am not sure if it would result well, by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.

Today's profit was not bad relatively, so Dr. MJ seemed to be more stable than other days.
>> Correct!
Or: ...than the other days.

There was a foreigner who could speak English after a long time.
>> Correct!

As you know, I really longed for that kind of patient.
>> Correct!

He is from Uzbec and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon city.
>> He is from Uzbekistan and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon City.

He got a folliculitis on his chin, so I gave him a prescription and explained about his disease fluently. 
>> Correct! 

And, there was an aesthetic client who watched my Youtube last year.
>> Correct!
Or: YouTube

She told me that she got a faith because of the video.
>> She told me that she got faith because of the video.

Fortunately, there was no rude patient today.
>> Correct!

If someone acts so rude, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail.
>> If someone acts so rudely, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail. Hahaha!

It is a loss of him/her, I am sure.
>> It is his/ her loss, I'm sure.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129218 Homeworks 6/28 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 1
129217 switch from ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 0
129216 Writing Task 0630 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 0
129215 What are the benefits of spending time in nature for physical... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 2
129214 What do you think about taking a nap? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 2427
129213 Do you like cats? Why or why not ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 3259
129212 Why do children like playing online games? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 2263
129211 How many glasses of water do I drink everyday?^^ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 3080
129210 What are you most passionate about? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 2666
129209 Why is drunk driving a grave offense? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 2754
129208 Would you compromise with a criminal if your life or your... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 4
129207 Can you correct my sentence? ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 2
129206 What are the social activities we could never live without? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 1
129205 homework 06.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 3642
129204 My favorite accessories! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2123
129203 Recent interest ÇÏ*ÇØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 6
129202 Where dres o you want to celebrate your next birthday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 4045
129201 School trip! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2034
129200 Describe the experience of falling in love. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2794
129199 What is the reason for Korea\'s decision to change its age... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04