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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-12-11 1098

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
Happy Monday!
Since I was so worried if some staff would resign, I made a speech about the relationship bewteen the discomfort and the growth in the morning conference.
Even though I am not sure it would resulted by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.
Today's profit was not bad relatively, so Dr. MJ seemed to be more stable than other days.
There was a foreigner who could speak English after a long time.
As you know, I really longed for that kind of patient.
He is from Uzbec and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon city.
He got a folliculitis on his chin, so I gave him a prescription and explained about his disease fluently.
And, there was an aesthetic client who watched my Youtube last year.
She told me that she got a faith because of the video.
Fortunately, there was no rude patient today.
If someone acts so rude, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail.
It is a loss of him/her, I am sure.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Happy Tuesday to you. Nowadays, I feel guilty that I cannot check your essays on  the day or hours after your submission. I hope you understand my situation. 

Anyway, I am so glad that your Monday was temperate like the weather and Dr. MJ's mood. Have you ever noticed that starting your day in a calm and pleasant manner makes the energy in your clinic flow smoothly and bring in more profit? This cannot be easily explained but it manifests when you display good behavior as well as high focus on the tasks at work. This is hard to explain and maybe, we can discuss more about this in class. It is called vibration and there are energies that are perfect to one another, you need to attract these to make you more successful at work.

You actually had one of the patients who watched you on YouTube who you enjoyed speaking with while getting her procedure. I hope more of your clients who have seen and experienced your service will walk in your door and tell their testimonies of how good your team is in the field of dermatology.

As of the Uzbek patient, that is a win-win situation- he pays you to perform his procedure and speaks English with you as well. Isn't that awesome? It is safe to say that you had a perfect Monday after a long time.

Invest in these kind of days when everything is doing well and no one is rude except Dr. MJ. ^^

Take a look at the grammar suggestions underscored in some sentences and congratulations to all your correct sentences!

I will see you then.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Happy Monday!
>> Correct!

Since I was so worried if some staff would resign, I made a speech about the relationship bewteen the discomfort and the growth in the morning conference.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
Or: between

Even though I am not sure it would resulted by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.
>> Even though I am not sure if it would result well, by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.

Today's profit was not bad relatively, so Dr. MJ seemed to be more stable than other days.
>> Correct!
Or: ...than the other days.

There was a foreigner who could speak English after a long time.
>> Correct!

As you know, I really longed for that kind of patient.
>> Correct!

He is from Uzbec and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon city.
>> He is from Uzbekistan and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon City.

He got a folliculitis on his chin, so I gave him a prescription and explained about his disease fluently. 
>> Correct! 

And, there was an aesthetic client who watched my Youtube last year.
>> Correct!
Or: YouTube

She told me that she got a faith because of the video.
>> She told me that she got faith because of the video.

Fortunately, there was no rude patient today.
>> Correct!

If someone acts so rude, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail.
>> If someone acts so rudely, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail. Hahaha!

It is a loss of him/her, I am sure.
>> It is his/ her loss, I'm sure.

See you.
>> Correct!
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03
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