¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-11 488

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
Happy Monday!
Since I was so worried if some staff would resign, I made a speech about the relationship bewteen the discomfort and the growth in the morning conference.
Even though I am not sure it would resulted by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.
Today's profit was not bad relatively, so Dr. MJ seemed to be more stable than other days.
There was a foreigner who could speak English after a long time.
As you know, I really longed for that kind of patient.
He is from Uzbec and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon city.
He got a folliculitis on his chin, so I gave him a prescription and explained about his disease fluently.
And, there was an aesthetic client who watched my Youtube last year.
She told me that she got a faith because of the video.
Fortunately, there was no rude patient today.
If someone acts so rude, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail.
It is a loss of him/her, I am sure.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Happy Tuesday to you. Nowadays, I feel guilty that I cannot check your essays on  the day or hours after your submission. I hope you understand my situation. 

Anyway, I am so glad that your Monday was temperate like the weather and Dr. MJ's mood. Have you ever noticed that starting your day in a calm and pleasant manner makes the energy in your clinic flow smoothly and bring in more profit? This cannot be easily explained but it manifests when you display good behavior as well as high focus on the tasks at work. This is hard to explain and maybe, we can discuss more about this in class. It is called vibration and there are energies that are perfect to one another, you need to attract these to make you more successful at work.

You actually had one of the patients who watched you on YouTube who you enjoyed speaking with while getting her procedure. I hope more of your clients who have seen and experienced your service will walk in your door and tell their testimonies of how good your team is in the field of dermatology.

As of the Uzbek patient, that is a win-win situation- he pays you to perform his procedure and speaks English with you as well. Isn't that awesome? It is safe to say that you had a perfect Monday after a long time.

Invest in these kind of days when everything is doing well and no one is rude except Dr. MJ. ^^

Take a look at the grammar suggestions underscored in some sentences and congratulations to all your correct sentences!

I will see you then.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Happy Monday!
>> Correct!

Since I was so worried if some staff would resign, I made a speech about the relationship bewteen the discomfort and the growth in the morning conference.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
Or: between

Even though I am not sure it would resulted by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.
>> Even though I am not sure if it would result well, by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.

Today's profit was not bad relatively, so Dr. MJ seemed to be more stable than other days.
>> Correct!
Or: ...than the other days.

There was a foreigner who could speak English after a long time.
>> Correct!

As you know, I really longed for that kind of patient.
>> Correct!

He is from Uzbec and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon city.
>> He is from Uzbekistan and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon City.

He got a folliculitis on his chin, so I gave him a prescription and explained about his disease fluently. 
>> Correct! 

And, there was an aesthetic client who watched my Youtube last year.
>> Correct!
Or: YouTube

She told me that she got a faith because of the video.
>> She told me that she got faith because of the video.

Fortunately, there was no rude patient today.
>> Correct!

If someone acts so rude, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail.
>> If someone acts so rudely, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail. Hahaha!

It is a loss of him/her, I am sure.
>> It is his/ her loss, I'm sure.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130733 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 406
130732 Homework-which greeting kind of annoys you? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 321
130731 How do you calm yourself in stressful situations? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 3
130730 WRITING TASK: What can you do for your mother? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 4
130729 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 612
130728 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 608
130727 Avoiding and choosing the group ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 494
130726 Would you rather live in a house or an apartment? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 934
130725 What do you do when you hear your name pop up in other people¡¯s... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1294
130724 How many hours do you spend reading in a week? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 0
130723 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2
130722 Did you have any interactions with the attendees that stood out... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1
130721 9/1 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 584
130720 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 557
130719 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 750
130718 homwork Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 354
130717 homework-230901 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1
130716 How do you choose where to go? Are you inspired by other... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 0
130715 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 3
130714 Promoting ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 793

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04