¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-11 457

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
Happy Monday!
Since I was so worried if some staff would resign, I made a speech about the relationship bewteen the discomfort and the growth in the morning conference.
Even though I am not sure it would resulted by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.
Today's profit was not bad relatively, so Dr. MJ seemed to be more stable than other days.
There was a foreigner who could speak English after a long time.
As you know, I really longed for that kind of patient.
He is from Uzbec and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon city.
He got a folliculitis on his chin, so I gave him a prescription and explained about his disease fluently.
And, there was an aesthetic client who watched my Youtube last year.
She told me that she got a faith because of the video.
Fortunately, there was no rude patient today.
If someone acts so rude, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail.
It is a loss of him/her, I am sure.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

Happy Tuesday to you. Nowadays, I feel guilty that I cannot check your essays on  the day or hours after your submission. I hope you understand my situation. 

Anyway, I am so glad that your Monday was temperate like the weather and Dr. MJ's mood. Have you ever noticed that starting your day in a calm and pleasant manner makes the energy in your clinic flow smoothly and bring in more profit? This cannot be easily explained but it manifests when you display good behavior as well as high focus on the tasks at work. This is hard to explain and maybe, we can discuss more about this in class. It is called vibration and there are energies that are perfect to one another, you need to attract these to make you more successful at work.

You actually had one of the patients who watched you on YouTube who you enjoyed speaking with while getting her procedure. I hope more of your clients who have seen and experienced your service will walk in your door and tell their testimonies of how good your team is in the field of dermatology.

As of the Uzbek patient, that is a win-win situation- he pays you to perform his procedure and speaks English with you as well. Isn't that awesome? It is safe to say that you had a perfect Monday after a long time.

Invest in these kind of days when everything is doing well and no one is rude except Dr. MJ. ^^

Take a look at the grammar suggestions underscored in some sentences and congratulations to all your correct sentences!

I will see you then.

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Happy Monday!
>> Correct!

Since I was so worried if some staff would resign, I made a speech about the relationship bewteen the discomfort and the growth in the morning conference.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
Or: between

Even though I am not sure it would resulted by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.
>> Even though I am not sure if it would result well, by my speech, no one resigned today fortunately.

Today's profit was not bad relatively, so Dr. MJ seemed to be more stable than other days.
>> Correct!
Or: ...than the other days.

There was a foreigner who could speak English after a long time.
>> Correct!

As you know, I really longed for that kind of patient.
>> Correct!

He is from Uzbec and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon city.
>> He is from Uzbekistan and seemed to be a student in University in Incheon City.

He got a folliculitis on his chin, so I gave him a prescription and explained about his disease fluently. 
>> Correct! 

And, there was an aesthetic client who watched my Youtube last year.
>> Correct!
Or: YouTube

She told me that she got a faith because of the video.
>> She told me that she got faith because of the video.

Fortunately, there was no rude patient today.
>> Correct!

If someone acts so rude, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail.
>> If someone acts so rudely, I usually try to finish seeing that patient briefly without any empathy and explanation in detail. Hahaha!

It is a loss of him/her, I am sure.
>> It is his/ her loss, I'm sure.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131283 Do you think cars are good value for money? Which country... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131282 the ways to overcome the challenge ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 432
131281 What are your greatest professional strengths? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 407
131280 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The moral... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131279 What are some of the reasons of divorce in your country? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131278 I wrote down interview answers about the exchange students... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131277 What is something that you are thankful for? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 481
131276 Cimer swimming pool ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 438
131275 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 301
131274 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 330
131273 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 444
131272 HOMEWORK-230925 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131271 While on board ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 296
131270 WRITING TASK: What kind of help do you need most of the time? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131269 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131268 My favorite holiday ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131267 stalking ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 780
131266 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 530
131265 How do you distinguish which feedback to listen to and which to... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131264 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04