¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-10 1053

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, there.
How is it going?
Since the profit was decreased these days, Dr.MJ introduced a new system.
Dr.MJ decided to check all processes that include staff management, advertisement, client counselling, and so on.
Of course, my workload also became larger.
I took on the morning conference, and I saw more patients during Dr.MJ's meeting with staff many times a day.
It's alright to me, but I am so worried about the excessive stress of our staff.
After Dr.MJ scolded staff managers, many of them cried.
I wish this storm will pass quickly.
If the profit will be recovered, all problems will be solved naturally, I am sure.
As for my assignment, yes, I joined several singing competitions long times ago.
I won the first on a small contest.
Despite it was a small size and had a low level typically, I was so happy for it.
As I told you, I will sing and playing the guitar outside someday.
I enjoy doing something in front of many people.
I think I was born to be a person like that.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

Today is still smooth as of the start of Monday. How is your profit today? You have never been more profit conscious before. I guess Dr. MJ is doing a good job in making everyone play their A-game.

Without the hardest times, the best lessons will not be learned. Think of them as blessings in disguise. Tough times need tough people.

Of course, this would not be easy so, to everyone who cannot stand the storm better leave soon. It may sound cruel but that is the way life works- it is survival of the fittest. After the storm, the sun will shine again and you and Dr. MJ will be okay as well as the rest of your staff.

One good thing is that you have music in you. When I am pressured or stressed, I play good music to soothe me and it feels better. 

I hope that your dream of performing will come true soon. Then, you can also earn money from that talent. It would be awesome. 

Thank you for this composition! You used new and correct expressions and they surely add up to the beauty of your work. Keep up the excellent job!

See you later.

-T. Donna~

Hi, there.
>> Correct!

How is it going?
>> Correct!

Since the profit was decreased these days, Dr.MJ introduced a new system.
>> Since the profit decreased these days, Dr.MJ introduced a new system.

Dr.MJ decided to check all processes that include staff management, advertisement, client counselling, and so on.
>> Correct!

Of course, my workload also became larger.
>> Correct!

I took on the morning conference, and I saw more patients during Dr.MJ's meeting with staff many times a day.
>> I took on the morning conference, and I saw more patients during Dr.MJ's meeting with the staff many times a day.

It's alright to me, but I am so worried about the excessive stress of our staff.
>> It's alright with me, but I am so worried about the excessive stress of our staff.

After Dr.MJ scolded staff managers, many of them cried.
>> Correct!

I wish this storm will pass quickly.
>> Correct!

If the profit will be recovered, all problems will be solved naturally, I am sure.
>> If the profit will recover, all problems will be solved naturally, I am sure.

As for my assignment, yes, I joined several singing competitions long times ago.
>> As for my assignment, yes, I joined several singing competitions a long time ago.

I won the first on a small contest.
>> Correct!
Or: I won the first place in a small contest.

Despite it was a small size and had a low level typically, I was so happy for it.
>> Despite it being a small size and had a low level, typically, I was so happy for it.

As I told you, I will sing and playing the guitar outside someday.
>>  As I told you, I will sing and play the guitar outside someday.

I enjoy doing something in front of many people.
>> Correct!

I think I was born to be a person like that.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130650 WRITING TASK: When do you treat your friends? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130649 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 698
130648 Do you prefer traveling alone or traveling with family and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130647 A mobile phone ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130646 How do you feel about not taking a risk at all? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1535
130645 How do you feel about advising your friends? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1164
130644 Do you think bullies still have the chance to change? Why or why... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1461
130643 What are the best ways to keep yourself fit? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1380
130642 Do we have a special responsibility to help others even though... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1750
130641 What are the pros and cons of keeping a pet? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1212
130640 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 944
130639 What do you think are the biggest challenges facing transgenders... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 3
130638 I like hanging out ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2
130637 If I apologize to my ex ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1756
130636 What is the best season to enjoy travelling in Korea? Why? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1579
130635 To advise the other one ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 987
130634 homework 08.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1441
130633 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 0
130632 How important are books to you? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 6
130631 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04