¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.07

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-07 1965

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Are online deliveries making us lazier?

Actually I think it's true that we are became lazier because of online deliveries.
In the old days, we had to go directly to the place if we wanted to buy things or eat food.
On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get at anywhere.
Except that we became lazy, I think online deliveries has other advantages.
Before the online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
Sometimes bad stores were ripped off or forced to sell, regardless of my opinion.
But, these days online shopping malls have well developed.
So, many bad practices disappeared in direct shopping.
In my point of view, it's another advantage of online delivery service.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Are online deliveries making us lazier?

Actually I think it's true that we are became lazier because of online deliveries.
>> Actually I think it's true that we are becoming lazier because of online deliveries.
In the old days, we had to go directly to the place if we wanted to buy things or eat food.
>> CORRECT!
On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get at anywhere.
>> On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get it anywhere.
Except that we became lazy, I think online deliveries has other advantages.
>> CORRECT!
Before the online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
>> Before online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
Sometimes bad stores were ripped off or forced to sell, regardless of my opinion.
>> CORRECT!
But, these days online shopping malls have well developed.
>> But, these days online shopping malls have been well-developed.
So, many bad practices disappeared in direct shopping.
>> CORRECT!
In my point of view, it's another advantage of online delivery service.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130404 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3
130403 Can you share a time when a friend supported you differently... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130402 Write about your experience wite COVID-19. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130401 What\'s your thought on the relationship between fans and the... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 3
130400 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130399 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0
130398 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2819
130397 homework 08.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2459
130396 HW ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130395 What¡¯s your favorite way to get to school? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 3446
130394 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2243
130393 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2411
130392 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2168
130391 Would you rather eat a banana or a carrot? Why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2139
130390 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2968
130389 Do you think the new policy that removes students in class when... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2537
130388 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2
130387 Acupuncture, a treatment in which thin needles are inserted into... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2817
130386 Why do you think people stereotype? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 2385
130385 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04