¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.07

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-07 1297

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Are online deliveries making us lazier?

Actually I think it's true that we are became lazier because of online deliveries.
In the old days, we had to go directly to the place if we wanted to buy things or eat food.
On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get at anywhere.
Except that we became lazy, I think online deliveries has other advantages.
Before the online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
Sometimes bad stores were ripped off or forced to sell, regardless of my opinion.
But, these days online shopping malls have well developed.
So, many bad practices disappeared in direct shopping.
In my point of view, it's another advantage of online delivery service.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Are online deliveries making us lazier?

Actually I think it's true that we are became lazier because of online deliveries.
>> Actually I think it's true that we are becoming lazier because of online deliveries.
In the old days, we had to go directly to the place if we wanted to buy things or eat food.
>> CORRECT!
On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get at anywhere.
>> On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get it anywhere.
Except that we became lazy, I think online deliveries has other advantages.
>> CORRECT!
Before the online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
>> Before online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
Sometimes bad stores were ripped off or forced to sell, regardless of my opinion.
>> CORRECT!
But, these days online shopping malls have well developed.
>> But, these days online shopping malls have been well-developed.
So, many bad practices disappeared in direct shopping.
>> CORRECT!
In my point of view, it's another advantage of online delivery service.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133886 Do you think you will have a second date? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1
133885 Free Writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 893
133884 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 907
133883 Seoul ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 930
133882 essay 5 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1280
133881 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1042
133880 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 5
133879 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 2
133878 What is your opinion about \"Gender Equality\" ? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 2
133877 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 1797
133876 How do you adapt to changes? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 0
133875 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 834
133874 >> What\'s your outlet when you\'re angry? Mention some of your... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 1
133873 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 737
133872 Truth and lies ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 3
133871 Working out ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 3
133870 Appointment ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 2
133869 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 247
133868 Which is more important in reality, inner beauty or outer beauty Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 1109
133867 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 1092

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04