¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.07

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-07 695

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Are online deliveries making us lazier?

Actually I think it's true that we are became lazier because of online deliveries.
In the old days, we had to go directly to the place if we wanted to buy things or eat food.
On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get at anywhere.
Except that we became lazy, I think online deliveries has other advantages.
Before the online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
Sometimes bad stores were ripped off or forced to sell, regardless of my opinion.
But, these days online shopping malls have well developed.
So, many bad practices disappeared in direct shopping.
In my point of view, it's another advantage of online delivery service.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Are online deliveries making us lazier?

Actually I think it's true that we are became lazier because of online deliveries.
>> Actually I think it's true that we are becoming lazier because of online deliveries.
In the old days, we had to go directly to the place if we wanted to buy things or eat food.
>> CORRECT!
On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get at anywhere.
>> On the other hand, these days, we can easily order and easily get it anywhere.
Except that we became lazy, I think online deliveries has other advantages.
>> CORRECT!
Before the online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
>> Before online shopping became active, the prices were wrong for each store.
Sometimes bad stores were ripped off or forced to sell, regardless of my opinion.
>> CORRECT!
But, these days online shopping malls have well developed.
>> But, these days online shopping malls have been well-developed.
So, many bad practices disappeared in direct shopping.
>> CORRECT!
In my point of view, it's another advantage of online delivery service.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136123 companion animal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 0
136122 I use the sentence words ½Å*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 464
136121 When are the best times for silence? Some people say that... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 332
136120 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 469
136119 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 563
136118 Talk about a memorable meal you have had. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 464
136117 Talk about a problem in your community and propose a solution. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 545
136116 Discuss a place you would like to visit in the future. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 476
136115 Compare traveling alone with traveling with friends or family.... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 417
136114 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 737
136113 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 672
136112 Which topics do you avoid when you talk with someone for the... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 23
136111 Why are some people pessimists? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 362
136110 What is the essence of flower festivals in your country? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2
136109 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 548
136108 What position would you avoid playing in soccer? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 708
136107 Why is it important to reflect on our experiences? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 426
136106 What did you do on your last birthday? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 4
136105 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2
136104 Which car brand would you like to buy next? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04