¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-12-07 414

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
We achived a good profit today, but there was a bad incident.
I think I told you before about the patient who wanted some money for side effect of Dr.MJ's laser.
She came to our clinic and talked with our counselling manager.
I heard that she wanted more than ten thousand dollars.
She seemed to be insane.
She paid one hundred dollars to remove her moles before and now she wanted one hundred times about it.
We doctors are so busy everyday, so we typically give some money to compensate some side effect even though it was not our faults.
And lately, there are many informations for getting money from doctors easily.
The patient crossed the line, so we decided to give her no money.
She may have thought that she could get lots of money so easily because our clinic seems to be rich.
As for my assignment, the movie gave me a message that I never need to sacrifice myself to keep an honor or a loyalty.
The most important thing is my family.
We should be more flexible at any time.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

It has been almost 24 hours since you submitted this homework and I only got the chance to check it right now. I get a headache easily nowadays. So here it is.

Congratulations to your very good profit yesterday. I heard that the weather in your country was warmer than last week. This may encourage people to go out and make themselves more good-looking. I just hope that no insane patients will come complaining about further side effects on their treatments.

The case of the lady asking for too much compensation for a scar reflects the kind of condition we are living in society economically-wise nowadays. Life is hard. Money is hard to earn. People want easy money and when they see the slightest opportunity to strike, they take a chance. Unfortunately, you have been wiser than this lady. Thus, there is no negotiation.

There will be more cases of these dubious clients that will come knocking on your door soon. When they come, you have to be ready.

Thank you for all these variation of sentences to create a wholistic meaning in  paragraphs. As I said, as your sentences grow in length, the lesser the chance you can type "See you." and it's fine. So please read my grammar suggestions and remember them well. 

See you then next week!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

We achived a good profit today, but there was a bad incident.
>> Correct!
Or: achieved

I think I told you before about the patient who wanted some money for side effect of Dr.MJ's laser.
>> I think I told you before about the patient who wanted some money for the side effects of Dr.MJ's laser.

She came to our clinic and talked with our counselling manager.
>> Correct!

I heard that she wanted more than ten thousand dollars.
>> Correct!

She seemed to be insane.
>> Correct!

She paid one hundred dollars to remove her moles before and now she wanted one hundred times about it.
>> She paid one hundred dollars to remove her moles before and now she wanted one hundred times for it.

We doctors are so busy everyday, so we typically give some money to compensate some side effect even though it was not our faults.
>> We doctors are so busy everyday, so we typically give some money to compensate for some side effects even though it was not our fault.  Very good sentence!

And lately, there are many informations for getting money from doctors easily.
>> And lately, there are many information for getting money from doctors easily.

The patient crossed the line, so we decided to give her no money.
>> Correct!

She may have thought that she could get lots of money so easily because our clinic seems to be rich.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

As for my assignment, the movie gave me a message that I never need to sacrifice myself to keep an honor or a loyalty.
>> As for my assignment, the movie gave me a message that I never need to sacrifice myself to keep honor or loyalty.

The most important thing is my family.
>> Correct!

We should be more flexible at any time.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132930 WRITING TASK: What is the best way to avoid making mistakes? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 5
132929 Changes ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 4
132928 Public transport ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 3
132927 Help me....the introverted person.... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132926 How do you usually celebrate your birthday? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132925 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 445
132924 From what age is it okay to start dating? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 437
132923 If you could spend Christmas anywhere in the world, where would... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 448
132922 What do you look forward to this December? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 274
132921 How do you pick a restaurant to go eat at? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 619
132920 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 630
132919 Stress affects human health a lot. How do you manage youtr... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3
132918 homework 12.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 722
132917 My recent hobby ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 540
132916 Parties ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 1282
132915 What is your favorite part of where you live? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 271
132914 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 625
132913 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 896
132912 What¡¯s the worst possible meal you could imagine? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 4
132911 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04