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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-12-07 399

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
We achived a good profit today, but there was a bad incident.
I think I told you before about the patient who wanted some money for side effect of Dr.MJ's laser.
She came to our clinic and talked with our counselling manager.
I heard that she wanted more than ten thousand dollars.
She seemed to be insane.
She paid one hundred dollars to remove her moles before and now she wanted one hundred times about it.
We doctors are so busy everyday, so we typically give some money to compensate some side effect even though it was not our faults.
And lately, there are many informations for getting money from doctors easily.
The patient crossed the line, so we decided to give her no money.
She may have thought that she could get lots of money so easily because our clinic seems to be rich.
As for my assignment, the movie gave me a message that I never need to sacrifice myself to keep an honor or a loyalty.
The most important thing is my family.
We should be more flexible at any time.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

It has been almost 24 hours since you submitted this homework and I only got the chance to check it right now. I get a headache easily nowadays. So here it is.

Congratulations to your very good profit yesterday. I heard that the weather in your country was warmer than last week. This may encourage people to go out and make themselves more good-looking. I just hope that no insane patients will come complaining about further side effects on their treatments.

The case of the lady asking for too much compensation for a scar reflects the kind of condition we are living in society economically-wise nowadays. Life is hard. Money is hard to earn. People want easy money and when they see the slightest opportunity to strike, they take a chance. Unfortunately, you have been wiser than this lady. Thus, there is no negotiation.

There will be more cases of these dubious clients that will come knocking on your door soon. When they come, you have to be ready.

Thank you for all these variation of sentences to create a wholistic meaning in  paragraphs. As I said, as your sentences grow in length, the lesser the chance you can type "See you." and it's fine. So please read my grammar suggestions and remember them well. 

See you then next week!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

We achived a good profit today, but there was a bad incident.
>> Correct!
Or: achieved

I think I told you before about the patient who wanted some money for side effect of Dr.MJ's laser.
>> I think I told you before about the patient who wanted some money for the side effects of Dr.MJ's laser.

She came to our clinic and talked with our counselling manager.
>> Correct!

I heard that she wanted more than ten thousand dollars.
>> Correct!

She seemed to be insane.
>> Correct!

She paid one hundred dollars to remove her moles before and now she wanted one hundred times about it.
>> She paid one hundred dollars to remove her moles before and now she wanted one hundred times for it.

We doctors are so busy everyday, so we typically give some money to compensate some side effect even though it was not our faults.
>> We doctors are so busy everyday, so we typically give some money to compensate for some side effects even though it was not our fault.  Very good sentence!

And lately, there are many informations for getting money from doctors easily.
>> And lately, there are many information for getting money from doctors easily.

The patient crossed the line, so we decided to give her no money.
>> Correct!

She may have thought that she could get lots of money so easily because our clinic seems to be rich.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

As for my assignment, the movie gave me a message that I never need to sacrifice myself to keep an honor or a loyalty.
>> As for my assignment, the movie gave me a message that I never need to sacrifice myself to keep honor or loyalty.

The most important thing is my family.
>> Correct!

We should be more flexible at any time.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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