¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2023-12-07 660

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. food diet
In order to increase the health, We have to decide a food diet.
It is much better eat fruits and vegetables rather than instant food.
but, It's doesn't lose weight easily even if we don't have a lot of muscles in our body.
Therefore, we have to eat foods containing protein to be healthy.

2. workout
It is good to go to the gym and exercise, but it costs a lot of money.
These days, more people watch videos and exercise at home.
It is good to workout use money, but It's also good to do aerobic exercise to gain muscle at home.

3. sleep
In order to be health, but It is important to sleep. The average adult sleep time is 8 hours,
and appropriate to sleep in 8-10 hours. If we sleep a lot,
skin gets better, and It is beneficial to health because it improves complexion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Eunice!

1. food diet
In order to increase the health, We have to decide a food diet.
>>> In order to improve health, we have to decide a good diet.
It is much better eat fruits and vegetables rather than instant food.
>>> It is much better to eat fruits and vegetables rather than instant food.
but, It's doesn't lose weight easily even if we don't have a lot of muscles in our body.
>>> However, it doesn't make us lose weight easily even if we don't have a lot of muscles in our body.
Therefore, we have to eat foods containing protein to be healthy.
>>>  correct

2. workout
It is good to go to the gym and exercise, but it costs a lot of money.
>>> correct
These days, more people watch videos and exercise at home.
>>> correct
It is good to workout use money, but It's also good to do aerobic exercise to gain muscle at home.
>>> It is good to workout with the use of money, but It's also good to do aerobic exercise to gain muscle at home.
>>> It is good to spend money for working out, but It's also good to do aerobic exercise to gain muscle at home.

3. sleep
In order to be health, but It is important to sleep. 
>>> In order to be healthy, it is important to sleep well. 
The average adult sleep time is 8 hours, and appropriate to sleep in 8-10 hours. 
>>> The average adult sleep time is 8 hours, and it's appropriate to sleep within 8-10 hours. 
If we sleep a lot, skin gets better, and It is beneficial to health because it improves complexion.
>>> If we sleep a lot, our skin gets better and It is beneficial to health because it improves complexion.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129844 Homework Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-29 1342
129843 Why are mosquitoes dangerous? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-29 2
129842 Do you believe that achieving one\'s dreams requires luck, hard... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-29 1776
129841 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-29 1443
129840 What\'s your thought on the teacher choosing to commit suicide... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-29 3
129839 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2495
129838 homework 07.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1961
129837 Say something about 1 of your closest friend. ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1115
129836 What do you love about your country? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129835 My schedule! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1264
129834 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1692
129833 What is your opinion on whether teenagers should have the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1537
129832 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 0
129831 Homework for 05/19 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129830 Homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 992
129829 They seem to be abusing it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1700
129828 Homework for 05/12 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 2
129827 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 1184
129826 WRITING TASK: How do you manage a busy weekend? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 3
129825 I think no. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-28 946

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04