¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think change is important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2023-12-06 1410

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People are afraid of changes because they don't want to be in the new environment,don't like spending their time to learn or study something for their surroundings. I don't want to move to another school when I was an elementary school student because it was queit tough for me to make new friends and adapt to the new environment. However, revolution always starts from the little changes. People who are facing the risk directly will get additional conpensation and be a successful person. There is saying "No pain, No gain". I think it shows very well that why we have to take the risk or put us in the new environment. If everybody lives in the same way, nobody will be in the successful life and our lives will be boring.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


People are afraid of changes because they don't want to be in the new environment, don't like spending their time to learn or study something for their surroundings. 
>> CORRECT! 
OR >> People are afraid of changes because they don't want to be in a new environment, don't like spending their time to learn or study something to fit in their surroundings. 
I don't want to move to another school when I was an elementary school student because it was queit tough for me to make new friends and adapt to the new environment. 
>> I don't want to move to another school when I was an elementary school student because it was quite tough for me to make new friends and adapt to the new environment. 
However, revolution always starts from the little changes. 
>> CORRECT! 
People who are facing the risk directly will get additional conpensation and be a successful person. 
>> People who are facing the risk directly will get additional compensation and be a successful person. 
There is saying "No pain, No gain". 
>> There is a saying "No pain, No gain". 
I think it shows very well that why we have to take the risk or put us in the new environment. 
>> I think it shows very well that we have to take the risk or put us in the new environment. 
If everybody lives in the same way, nobody will be in the successful life and our lives will be boring.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132389 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132388 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132387 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132386 homework_1113 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 454
132385 My pronunciation problems ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 626
132384 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132383 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132382 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132381 What\'s the most important thing to do to handle and accept... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 830
132380 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132379 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132378 My favorite breakfast food ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1091
132377 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 724
132376 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132375 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132374 Investing some money to my friend ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1286
132373 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1843
132372 How far is your parents\' hometown from the capital? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 738
132371 Change is natural ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 844
132370 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 809

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04