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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-12-03 1209

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
How is it going?
I am working at the clinic as you know.
As I said, the profit has decreased these days.
As this trend goes on, I became be worried too much.
I've heard the news about the economic crisis in our country everyday.
This trend may continue for a long time.
Of course, Dr. MJ is very sensitive lately, he scolded the staff managers many times.
He even ordered to cut off the staff as soon as possible who didn't do their job well.
I know that his action was caused by the decrease of our revenue.
Sometimes, I try to block his sudden decision, but not this time.
I am also worried about our clinic as Dr.MJ is.
Of course, I didn't do that if I am a boss alone.
Anyway, we affect mutually everyday.
In my life, the relationship that includes family, friend, and my employees is the most precious.
Dr. MJ may not have noticed his change, nevertheless, he is in the middle of changing his priority in his life.
If he has no people around him, money is useless, I am sure.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

It is another manic Monday! We have got to hustle and bustle and work on what we do best. This week will be so much easier than last week only that revenue will be lesser as well. 

I guess, we still need to be grateful for this in spite of it all. Low revenue is till revenue. The reality is, we might have achieved the highest possible income in the past and may have not acknowledged that time. In any business, there will be a peak pint and when it happens, it matters that we invest wisely because the future holds uncertainty and volatility.

When this happens, Dr. MJ will continue to be worse and worse as the profit is not maintained. Thus, do everything with all your might to perform your tasks more excellently each day. In addition, you need to serve top class customer service. Otherwise, you will end up having promos and that means less income.

Lastly, during this time of struggle, keep a good working relationship so that you may avoid future legal battles in court. As I mentioned in class, you do not need extra expense to these things right now.

Grammar and idea-wise, you always execute your compositions in an orderly and substantial form. Thank you for always doing a great job on your homework!

See you later.

-T. Donna~ 

Hello.
>> Correct!

How is it going?
>> Correct!

I am working at the clinic as you know.
>> Correct!

As I said, the profit has decreased these days.
>> Correct!

As this trend goes on, I became be worried too much.
>> As this trend goes on, I become worried too much.

I've heard the news about the economic crisis in our country everyday.
>> Correct!
Or: I hear the news about the economic crisis in our country everyday.

This trend may continue for a long time.
>> Correct!

Of course, Dr. MJ is very sensitive lately, he scolded the staff managers many times.
>> Correct!

He even ordered to cut off the staff as soon as possible who didn't do their job well.
>> Correct!

I know that his action was caused by the decrease of our revenue.
>> Correct!

Sometimes, I try to block his sudden decision, but not this time.
>> Correct!

I am also worried about our clinic as Dr.MJ is.
>> Correct!

Of course, I didn't do that if I am a boss alone.
>> Of course, I didn't do that if I am the boss alone.

Anyway, we affect mutually everyday.
>> Correct!
Or: Anyway, we affect each other mutually everyday.

In my life, the relationship that includes family, friend, and my employees is the most precious.
>>In my life, the relationships that include family, friends, and my employees are the most precious.

Dr. MJ may not have noticed his change, nevertheless, he is in the middle of changing his priority in his life.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

If he has no people around him, money is useless, I am sure.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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