¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.30

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-30 2087

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are some people not interested in sports?

These days, many people who have hobbies.
For example, there are many kinds of exercise, watching movies, reading books or make a DIY
Anyway, I think one of the reason some people not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or don't have enough time for hobby.
Actually, many modern people think they don't have enough time to do on hobby even if they have a hobby.
So, instead of spending time sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
Exercise can give our body health and positive things.
But this hobby requires more time investment than other hobbies.
That's why I think some people are not have interested in to do sports.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are some people not interested in sports?


These days, many people who have hobbies.
>> These days, many people find their own hobbies.
For example, there are many kinds of exercise, watching movies, reading books or make a DIY
>> For example, they do exercise, watch movies, read books, or make a DIY project.
Anyway, I think one of the reason some people not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or don't have enough time for hobby.
>> Anyway, I think one of the reasons why some people are not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or they don't have enough time for their hobbies.
Actually, many modern people think they don't have enough time to do on hobby even if they have a hobby.
>> Actually, many people nowadays think they don't have enough time to do their hobbies even if they have a hobby.
So, instead of spending time sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
>> So, instead of spending time on sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
Exercise can give our body health and positive things.
>> Exercising can make our body healthy and give a lot of positive things.
But this hobby requires more time investment than other hobbies.
>> But this hobby requires more time to invest than other hobbies.
That's why I think some people are not have interested in to do sports.
>> That's why I think some people are not interested in doing sports.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130805 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 4
130804 I stopped answering and thought. \"Did you really call me?\" À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1875
130803 I don\'t go now, but I still like books because I like those... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1093
130802 I think victims\' behavior will be limited if they are subjected... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1402
130801 Tipping ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1073
130800 If you met a tiger in your house, what would you do and/or say... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130799 I think experienced and flexible people ride the flow of change... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1250
130798 The wonderful holidays with my friends. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1636
130797 Does intelligence make people more attractive? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130796 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1267
130795 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130794 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2165
130793 Homework °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1562
130792 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1607
130791 Visitinf ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1432
130790 The best way to revenge ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 2308
130789 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1
130788 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1785
130787 homework 09.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1683
130786 Would you rather be able to teleport or read minds? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 2065

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04