¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.30

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-30 1852

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are some people not interested in sports?

These days, many people who have hobbies.
For example, there are many kinds of exercise, watching movies, reading books or make a DIY
Anyway, I think one of the reason some people not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or don't have enough time for hobby.
Actually, many modern people think they don't have enough time to do on hobby even if they have a hobby.
So, instead of spending time sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
Exercise can give our body health and positive things.
But this hobby requires more time investment than other hobbies.
That's why I think some people are not have interested in to do sports.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are some people not interested in sports?


These days, many people who have hobbies.
>> These days, many people find their own hobbies.
For example, there are many kinds of exercise, watching movies, reading books or make a DIY
>> For example, they do exercise, watch movies, read books, or make a DIY project.
Anyway, I think one of the reason some people not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or don't have enough time for hobby.
>> Anyway, I think one of the reasons why some people are not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or they don't have enough time for their hobbies.
Actually, many modern people think they don't have enough time to do on hobby even if they have a hobby.
>> Actually, many people nowadays think they don't have enough time to do their hobbies even if they have a hobby.
So, instead of spending time sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
>> So, instead of spending time on sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
Exercise can give our body health and positive things.
>> Exercising can make our body healthy and give a lot of positive things.
But this hobby requires more time investment than other hobbies.
>> But this hobby requires more time to invest than other hobbies.
That's why I think some people are not have interested in to do sports.
>> That's why I think some people are not interested in doing sports.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132532 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2449
132531 What year do you want to visit if you have a Time Machine and... ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2682
132530 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2438
132529 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2
132528 Why do you think some people are not interested in working in... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2309
132527 Healthy Food And Unhealthy Food ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2004
132526 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132525 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2247
132524 What do you know about Australia\'s natural wonders? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2554
132523 Why is it that some people act differently in front of others? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1846
132522 What are the dangers of using SNS? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1488
132521 What do you think parents worry about when their kids start... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1207
132520 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132519 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132518 Why do you think there are so many different languages in the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132517 test Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132516 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1819
132515 In your opinion, what are the other problems in your country... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2441
132514 Do you think Korea has good or bad politics? How can you say so? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1867
132513 Are there any activities that you want to do with your kids... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2391

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04