¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.30

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-30 885

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are some people not interested in sports?

These days, many people who have hobbies.
For example, there are many kinds of exercise, watching movies, reading books or make a DIY
Anyway, I think one of the reason some people not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or don't have enough time for hobby.
Actually, many modern people think they don't have enough time to do on hobby even if they have a hobby.
So, instead of spending time sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
Exercise can give our body health and positive things.
But this hobby requires more time investment than other hobbies.
That's why I think some people are not have interested in to do sports.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are some people not interested in sports?


These days, many people who have hobbies.
>> These days, many people find their own hobbies.
For example, there are many kinds of exercise, watching movies, reading books or make a DIY
>> For example, they do exercise, watch movies, read books, or make a DIY project.
Anyway, I think one of the reason some people not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or don't have enough time for hobby.
>> Anyway, I think one of the reasons why some people are not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or they don't have enough time for their hobbies.
Actually, many modern people think they don't have enough time to do on hobby even if they have a hobby.
>> Actually, many people nowadays think they don't have enough time to do their hobbies even if they have a hobby.
So, instead of spending time sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
>> So, instead of spending time on sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
Exercise can give our body health and positive things.
>> Exercising can make our body healthy and give a lot of positive things.
But this hobby requires more time investment than other hobbies.
>> But this hobby requires more time to invest than other hobbies.
That's why I think some people are not have interested in to do sports.
>> That's why I think some people are not interested in doing sports.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131787 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1
131786 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 564
131785 hobby! Á¤*Æò ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2
131784 homework 10.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 721
131783 Have you thought about the location for your cafe? What\'s your... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 472
131782 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 5
131781 Homework °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 554
131780 What shapes do you like? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 361
131779 Who do you think the target audience is? Why do you think this? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1
131778 HOMEWORK ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 0
131777 Who is your country¡¯s biggest national hero and why? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 0
131776 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2
131775 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 659
131774 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 712
131773 My dream job ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 555
131772 When you were a kid, what were you afraid of? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 832
131771 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 0
131770 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 394
131769 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 0
131768 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Would you like... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04