¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.30

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-30 827

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are some people not interested in sports?

These days, many people who have hobbies.
For example, there are many kinds of exercise, watching movies, reading books or make a DIY
Anyway, I think one of the reason some people not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or don't have enough time for hobby.
Actually, many modern people think they don't have enough time to do on hobby even if they have a hobby.
So, instead of spending time sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
Exercise can give our body health and positive things.
But this hobby requires more time investment than other hobbies.
That's why I think some people are not have interested in to do sports.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are some people not interested in sports?


These days, many people who have hobbies.
>> These days, many people find their own hobbies.
For example, there are many kinds of exercise, watching movies, reading books or make a DIY
>> For example, they do exercise, watch movies, read books, or make a DIY project.
Anyway, I think one of the reason some people not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or don't have enough time for hobby.
>> Anyway, I think one of the reasons why some people are not interested in sports is that they are doing different hobbies or they don't have enough time for their hobbies.
Actually, many modern people think they don't have enough time to do on hobby even if they have a hobby.
>> Actually, many people nowadays think they don't have enough time to do their hobbies even if they have a hobby.
So, instead of spending time sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
>> So, instead of spending time on sports, I think they spending time in other hobbies.
Exercise can give our body health and positive things.
>> Exercising can make our body healthy and give a lot of positive things.
But this hobby requires more time investment than other hobbies.
>> But this hobby requires more time to invest than other hobbies.
That's why I think some people are not have interested in to do sports.
>> That's why I think some people are not interested in doing sports.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133613 24/01/03 Home work ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1
133612 How important is family connection and relations in your country? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 934
133611 What would you do if you were late for an important class? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 0
133610 which one would you like to achieve? ±Ç*¸ð ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 604
133609 How can we keep children safe from cyberbullying online? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1
133608 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Would you still... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 2
133607 WRITING TASK: Do you think it is healthy to have snacks every... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 3
133606 HOMEWORK FOR 01.02.2024 WRITING TASK: Do you like stretching?... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 3
133605 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1
133604 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 501
133603 Is technology making people smarter or dumber? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 712
133602 Do you think most music (say 90%) is rubbish? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 403
133601 Would you like to travel alone someday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 418
133600 What are your goals for this year? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 227
133599 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 403
133598 What New Year\'s resolutions are you still keeping now? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 400
133597 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 2
133596 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 1
133595 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 2
133594 Do you recommend a Social Welfare program to all schools? Why? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04