¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-29 1851

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the pros and cons of eating raw food?

There are many kinds of raw food today.
For example, there are kinds of fish dishes, seafood, salads, fruits, and nuts.
I think the pros of raw food is that it has a delicious texture.
Because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or boiled cook.
And there are nutrients that can be get when eaten only raw.
But we have to be careful of the raw food.
The beggiest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
So, when we eaten raw fish or food we have to as soon as possible to be eat.
Next, some types of fish have parasites.
So, If some people worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the pros and cons of eating raw food?


There are many kinds of raw food today.
>> CORRECT!
For example, there are kinds of fish dishes, seafood, salads, fruits, and nuts.
>> CORRECT!
I think the pros of raw food is that it has a delicious texture.
>> CORRECT!
Because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or boiled cook.
>> It's because we can feel the fresh texture than grilled or well-cooked.
And there are nutrients that can be get when eaten only raw.
>> And there are nutrients that we can get from eating raw food.
But we have to be careful of the raw food.
>> But we have to be careful with eating raw food.
The beggiest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
>> The biggest disadvantage of raw food is food poisoning.
So, when we eaten raw fish or food we have to as soon as possible to be eat.
>> So, when we eaten raw fish or food, we have to eat it as soon as possible.
OR >> So, when we eaten raw fish or food, we have to eat it right away.
Next, some types of fish have parasites.
>> CORRECT!
So, If some people worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.
>> So, if some people are worried about parasites, I recommend boiled or baked food.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137870 WRITING TASK: What do you want your country to be best known for? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 3
137869 When giving up something ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 1226
137868 13.Jun.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 4
137867 Do you think you should tip the staff in restaurants? Why or why... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 976
137866 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 2
137865 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1
137864 How important are first impressions to you? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1245
137863 Who is the scariest person you know? Explain your answer. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1195
137862 Generally, what do kids in Korea want to be when they grow up?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1453
137861 stand out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1
137860 Home work ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1400
137859 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 1432
137858 Free time ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 0
137857 In the morning ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 0
137856 Do you think people should have cosmetic surgery to enhance... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1035
137855 1 ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1
137854 How to effectively save money for the future? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1425
137853 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1069
137852 K-drama ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1795
137851 2024.06.13 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1266

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04