¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it\'s useless.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-11-27 1709

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's useless.
I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye, 

I wanted to express my appreciation for the thoughtful essay you wrote on this topic. Your perspective on the purpose of taxes and your concerns about the current economic landscape in Korea were well-articulated. 

You raised an important point about the aging society and the uncertainty of future support. Your ability to express your thoughts clearly and concisely is commendable. It's evident that you've put careful consideration into your essay, and I value the unique insights you've shared. 

Engaging with your ideas has given me a deeper understanding of your perspective, and I encourage you to continue exploring and expressing your thoughts in this manner. It's through thoughtful discussions like these that we gain a better understanding of the world around us. 

Keep up the excellent work, Da Hye! I look forward to reading more of your reflections in the future. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

I think it's useless.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I think it is pointless. 

I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older. 

>>I believe the purpose of taxes is to contribute to the country, ensuring a future for individuals who may not have jobs. However, I feel a sense of unease as I contribute money to the government, particularly because Korea is currently an aging society. I am uncertain whether there will be enough young people to support our country when I grow older. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130742 I want durian ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1060
130741 Choose the company\'s growth and success. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1932
130740 Have you ever seen a real gun? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 5
130739 HOMEWORK-230904 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2
130738 Are policemen powerful in your country? Why or why not? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2035
130737 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"If I become a... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 4
130736 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1390
130735 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1780
130734 2 ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1438
130733 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1320
130732 Homework-which greeting kind of annoys you? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 876
130731 How do you calm yourself in stressful situations? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 3
130730 WRITING TASK: What can you do for your mother? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 4
130729 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1448
130728 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1528
130727 Avoiding and choosing the group ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1308
130726 Would you rather live in a house or an apartment? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1684
130725 What do you do when you hear your name pop up in other people¡¯s... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2416
130724 How many hours do you spend reading in a week? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 0
130723 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04