¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it\'s useless.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-11-27 1611

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's useless.
I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye, 

I wanted to express my appreciation for the thoughtful essay you wrote on this topic. Your perspective on the purpose of taxes and your concerns about the current economic landscape in Korea were well-articulated. 

You raised an important point about the aging society and the uncertainty of future support. Your ability to express your thoughts clearly and concisely is commendable. It's evident that you've put careful consideration into your essay, and I value the unique insights you've shared. 

Engaging with your ideas has given me a deeper understanding of your perspective, and I encourage you to continue exploring and expressing your thoughts in this manner. It's through thoughtful discussions like these that we gain a better understanding of the world around us. 

Keep up the excellent work, Da Hye! I look forward to reading more of your reflections in the future. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

I think it's useless.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I think it is pointless. 

I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older. 

>>I believe the purpose of taxes is to contribute to the country, ensuring a future for individuals who may not have jobs. However, I feel a sense of unease as I contribute money to the government, particularly because Korea is currently an aging society. I am uncertain whether there will be enough young people to support our country when I grow older. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131642 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1649
131641 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 2
131640 WRITING TASK: In your opinion, what is the best form of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 7
131639 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1397
131638 prison sentences Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 2
131637 231013 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 2358
131636 How would you like to be assisted? ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1847
131635 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1620
131634 If you had the chance to go to any concert in the world, whose... ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1274
131633 Fill in the blanks with an adjective of the appropriate degree... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 3
131632 What are the advantages and disadvantages of attending an event... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1
131631 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1
131630 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 4
131629 war ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 2599
131628 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1
131627 Tennis ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1984
131626 homework_231013 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 1941
131625 trust ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 3
131624 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2458
131623 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04