¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it\'s useless.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-11-27 1550

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's useless.
I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye, 

I wanted to express my appreciation for the thoughtful essay you wrote on this topic. Your perspective on the purpose of taxes and your concerns about the current economic landscape in Korea were well-articulated. 

You raised an important point about the aging society and the uncertainty of future support. Your ability to express your thoughts clearly and concisely is commendable. It's evident that you've put careful consideration into your essay, and I value the unique insights you've shared. 

Engaging with your ideas has given me a deeper understanding of your perspective, and I encourage you to continue exploring and expressing your thoughts in this manner. It's through thoughtful discussions like these that we gain a better understanding of the world around us. 

Keep up the excellent work, Da Hye! I look forward to reading more of your reflections in the future. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

I think it's useless.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I think it is pointless. 

I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older. 

>>I believe the purpose of taxes is to contribute to the country, ensuring a future for individuals who may not have jobs. However, I feel a sense of unease as I contribute money to the government, particularly because Korea is currently an aging society. I am uncertain whether there will be enough young people to support our country when I grow older. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132094 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1468
132093 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 3
132092 Have you ever said ¡®no¡¯ when you really wanted to say ¡®yes¡¯? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1
132091 What musical instruments are unique to our country ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1692
132090 What are some food combinations that you would like to try? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1523
132089 WRITING TASK: What is your dream house? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 4
132088 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 3
132087 How different are you from best friend? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1
132086 How do you usually make yourself feel better when you feel sick?... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1303
132085 What is an appropriate punishment for both male sexual... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 0
132084 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1368
132083 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1897
132082 How would you like to be identified? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2089
132081 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1480
132080 homework_231031 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1
132079 Dear My great Jade teacher, Á¤*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2354
132078 How convenient is public transport in your city? ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1694
132077 Homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1435
132076 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2
132075 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1428

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04