¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it\'s useless.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-11-27 679

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's useless.
I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye, 

I wanted to express my appreciation for the thoughtful essay you wrote on this topic. Your perspective on the purpose of taxes and your concerns about the current economic landscape in Korea were well-articulated. 

You raised an important point about the aging society and the uncertainty of future support. Your ability to express your thoughts clearly and concisely is commendable. It's evident that you've put careful consideration into your essay, and I value the unique insights you've shared. 

Engaging with your ideas has given me a deeper understanding of your perspective, and I encourage you to continue exploring and expressing your thoughts in this manner. It's through thoughtful discussions like these that we gain a better understanding of the world around us. 

Keep up the excellent work, Da Hye! I look forward to reading more of your reflections in the future. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

I think it's useless.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I think it is pointless. 

I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older. 

>>I believe the purpose of taxes is to contribute to the country, ensuring a future for individuals who may not have jobs. However, I feel a sense of unease as I contribute money to the government, particularly because Korea is currently an aging society. I am uncertain whether there will be enough young people to support our country when I grow older. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134881 Do you think you can be a role model? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 0
134880 What do you want to buy for your family and friends? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 0
134879 When I was a child ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 445
134878 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 622
134877 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 2
134876 I really want to see that machine. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 540
134875 Why is art important? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 445
134874 If you had the power to alter one major historical event, what... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 0
134873 hurricane ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 0
134872 My preference of travel style ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 498
134871 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 430
134870 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 257
134869 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 408
134868 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 750
134867 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 481
134866 What kind of animal would you like to have as a pet? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 795
134865 People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 463
134864 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 2
134863 WRITING TASK: What banking system do you enjoy now in your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 2
134862 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04