¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What kind of world do you think would be this if people never went to school?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-11-23 743

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Something from which people can learn, such as schools could mean that there is no share and progress in knowledge or technology. Without knowledge accumulated incessantly, humanity could end up living primitive lives. I can¡¯t attribute human evolution and development in knowledge only to schools, of which contribution we can¡¯t underestimate to what people have achieved so far.

If we don't have a public school system, people would have to settle for a private tutoring system, which had been cherished by the rich. This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to have their children better off than them. To recap, public education systems, such as schools will see a drastic gap in knowledge accumulation by families or countries and experience downward standardization of education.

I'd like to tell my son who doesn't like school about the virtues of schools that he has had benefits. I would make it clear to him that school is the blessing that some other people have longed for.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! Keep up your consistency in completing your homework every day. Great job! In terms of grammar, your sentences are correct. I've sent revised sentences for your reference, focusing on clarity and punctuation.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

Something from which people can learn, such as schools could mean that there is no share and progress in knowledge or technology. 
>>> Something from which people can learn, such as schools, could mean that there is no sharing and progress in knowledge or technology.
Without knowledge accumulated incessantly, humanity could end up living primitive lives. 
>>> CORRECT!!
I can¡¯t attribute human evolution and development in knowledge only to schools, of which contribution we can¡¯t underestimate to what people have achieved so far.
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I can't attribute human evolution and the development of knowledge solely to schools, the contribution of which we cannot underestimate in what people have achieved so far.
If we don't have a public school system, people would have to settle for a private tutoring system, which had been cherished by the rich. 
>>> CORRECT!!
This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to have their children better off than them. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to see their children better off than themselves.
To recap, public education systems, such as schools will see a drastic gap in knowledge accumulation by families or countries and experience downward standardization of education.
>>> CORRECT!!
I'd like to tell my son who doesn't like school about the virtues of schools that he has had benefits. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I'd like to tell my son, who doesn't like school, about the virtues of schools from which he has benefited.
I would make it clear to him that school is the blessing that some other people have longed for.
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I would make it clear to him that school is a blessing that some other people have longed for.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131705 Is it better for young adults to live at home with their parents... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131704 Do you think people from your country are superstitious? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 935
131703 Things for a trip ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 682
131702 How does military service impact an individual\'s personal and... ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1110
131701 development of IT Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131700 When hiking ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 680
131699 What are the customary greetings and behaviors for... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 735
131698 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 788
131697 Do you prefer sudden appointments or appointments set a week in... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 2
131696 13.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131695 16.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131694 What steps are you currently taking to work towards your... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 761
131693 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 821
131692 Thomas S. Szasz said: \"Suicide is a fundamental human right.... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 5
131691 What does a perfect day include? What is the weather like? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131690 homework 10.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 980
131689 My least favorite music ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1061
131688 What\'s your thought on the article, in particular, the man... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1
131687 What three things can you do today to help nature? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1
131686 My future house ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1028

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04