¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What kind of world do you think would be this if people never went to school?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-11-23 661

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Something from which people can learn, such as schools could mean that there is no share and progress in knowledge or technology. Without knowledge accumulated incessantly, humanity could end up living primitive lives. I can¡¯t attribute human evolution and development in knowledge only to schools, of which contribution we can¡¯t underestimate to what people have achieved so far.

If we don't have a public school system, people would have to settle for a private tutoring system, which had been cherished by the rich. This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to have their children better off than them. To recap, public education systems, such as schools will see a drastic gap in knowledge accumulation by families or countries and experience downward standardization of education.

I'd like to tell my son who doesn't like school about the virtues of schools that he has had benefits. I would make it clear to him that school is the blessing that some other people have longed for.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! Keep up your consistency in completing your homework every day. Great job! In terms of grammar, your sentences are correct. I've sent revised sentences for your reference, focusing on clarity and punctuation.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

Something from which people can learn, such as schools could mean that there is no share and progress in knowledge or technology. 
>>> Something from which people can learn, such as schools, could mean that there is no sharing and progress in knowledge or technology.
Without knowledge accumulated incessantly, humanity could end up living primitive lives. 
>>> CORRECT!!
I can¡¯t attribute human evolution and development in knowledge only to schools, of which contribution we can¡¯t underestimate to what people have achieved so far.
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I can't attribute human evolution and the development of knowledge solely to schools, the contribution of which we cannot underestimate in what people have achieved so far.
If we don't have a public school system, people would have to settle for a private tutoring system, which had been cherished by the rich. 
>>> CORRECT!!
This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to have their children better off than them. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> This signifies that people have a pent-up desire to see their children better off than themselves.
To recap, public education systems, such as schools will see a drastic gap in knowledge accumulation by families or countries and experience downward standardization of education.
>>> CORRECT!!
I'd like to tell my son who doesn't like school about the virtues of schools that he has had benefits. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I'd like to tell my son, who doesn't like school, about the virtues of schools from which he has benefited.
I would make it clear to him that school is the blessing that some other people have longed for.
>>> CORRECT!!
OR >>> I would make it clear to him that school is a blessing that some other people have longed for.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132419 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 716
132418 Want to enroll in another academy ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 687
132417 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Which amusement... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132416 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1162
132415 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132414 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 0
132413 Writing Challenge: How can I encourage someone to start a new... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 4
132412 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 590
132411 Do you think that some research your government pays for is... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132410 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132409 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132408 If you had the power to stop and restart time, when would you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1555
132407 How do you think the world would be different if there was only... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 934
132406 My advice to him/her ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 800
132405 How do you foresee the sleep aid market changing in the next 10... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 3
132404 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2
132403 subway ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 881
132402 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2
132401 13.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132400 What\'s an accomplishment that may seem small to others but... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1690

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04