¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-11-22 1412

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
Today is more hectic.
I may have felt this way because I ate a lunch alone.
I always need an energy from my people.
I received the result of blood test, and I found that my HbA1c became normal but my wife's HbA1c got worse.
In addition, my wife's iron level got worse.
Since I am worried about my wife's health, I proposed her to take some nutritional supplement including iron, and she accepted it.
To lower her blood glucose, we better stop eating carbohydrate like bread, noodle, and snack.
How can we be happy without those food?
Regarding my homework, I have an experience that I was bullied.
When I was in middle school, many friends were jealous of me because I got high sores in all exams.
As a matter of fact, I was somewhat confident excessively, and it could be another reason.
One day, some of them who were my closest friends showed me the hostility, and it made me sad.
I am not sure I can say that this happening was being bullied.
Now I should get going to my wife.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

I know a man who is the happiest when your clinic is busy as a bee. His name is Dr. MJ. I am sure that he checked on everyone today especially the revenue. I am so happy for all of you and your achievements! 

It is unfortunate that your wife's HbA1c result got worse. Perhaps she may be stress eating when she is tired. They lack of iron means blood lacks adequate healthy red blood cells which may result to anemia. Taking supplements is indeed a good idea. Meanwhile life without carbohydrates means that you have to eat more vegetables and meat. I am sure you can all manage to do this. However, Korean sticky rice is just irresistible. 

Being bullied means having the intention of harming someone. If your classmates were ridiculing you before of being smart, that is considered bullying. It was not right. You see, some not so smart classmates think that you are the villain for getting good scores while they have low ones. Of course this is not your fault but they blame you because you score higher. Truly, the bullies have a crooked thought about the world and so they take it on someone.

Below, I made some minor grammar suggestions. Read them carefully. Thank you for writing an interesting and informative composition of your daily life and homework answer. It is much appreciated.

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

Today is more hectic.
>> Correct!

I may have felt this way because I ate a lunch alone.
>> I may have felt this way because I ate lunch alone. Very good expression!

I always need an energy from my people.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I always need energy from my people.

I received the result of blood test, and I found that my HbA1c became normal but my wife's HbA1c got worse.
>> I received the result of blood test, and I found out that my HbA1c became normal but my wife's HbA1c got worse.

In addition, my wife's iron level got worse.
>> Correct!

Since I am worried about my wife's health, I proposed her to take some nutritional supplement including iron, and she accepted it.
>> Since I am worried about my wife's health, I proposed to her to take some nutritional supplements including iron, and she accepted it.

To lower her blood glucose, we better stop eating carbohydrate like bread, noodle, and snack.
>> Correct!
Or: To lower her blood glucose, we better stop eating carbohydrates like bread, noodles, and snacks.

How can we be happy without those food?
>> Correct!

Regarding my homework, I have an experience that I was bullied.
>> Correct!

When I was in middle school, many friends were jealous of me because I got high sores in all exams.
>> Correct!

As a matter of fact, I was somewhat confident excessively, and it could be another reason.
>> Correct!

One day, some of them who were my closest friends showed me the hostility, and it made me sad.
>> Correct! Great sentence!

I am not sure I can say that this happening was being bullied.
>> I am not sure if I can say that this happening was being bullied.

Now I should get going to my wife.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130654 What does stress do to our body? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1664
130653 Do you think punishments should be strict or people should be... º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130652 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 0
130651 What did you like to do when you were a child? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130650 WRITING TASK: When do you treat your friends? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 4
130649 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 698
130648 Do you prefer traveling alone or traveling with family and... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130647 A mobile phone ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2
130646 How do you feel about not taking a risk at all? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1590
130645 How do you feel about advising your friends? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1214
130644 Do you think bullies still have the chance to change? Why or why... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1489
130643 What are the best ways to keep yourself fit? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1431
130642 Do we have a special responsibility to help others even though... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1797
130641 What are the pros and cons of keeping a pet? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1260
130640 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 967
130639 What do you think are the biggest challenges facing transgenders... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 3
130638 I like hanging out ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2
130637 If I apologize to my ex ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1792
130636 What is the best season to enjoy travelling in Korea? Why? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1606
130635 To advise the other one ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1034

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04