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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Tell me about an accomplishment that you are most proud of.

작성자: 이*윤
2023-11-20 1880

회원님의 영작문

I have a handful of notable accomplishments in my 2 years career in computer engineering.
The first accomplishment that comes to my mind was exceeded the recruitment number of new students in my department, thanks to my creative and ingenious ideas.
The department that I've worked in was a promising department with a large recruitment number of new students and abundant support from the university.
However, the goal was not easily achieved and various events were planned to attract people's attention.
With my creative thinking in events, I was able to bring new student in my department to enjoy the event.
All the endless thinking and countless problems at event were totally worth it me.
What made it memorable and remarkable for me was the opportunity to showcase my successful leadership and professional skills.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Yun. You are impressive. Your achievements in computer engineering, especially surpassing the recruitment target with creative ideas, speak volumes about your dedication. I can imagine the effort behind the scenes, dealing with challenges and making events successful. The genuine satisfaction you feel for showcasing your leadership and skills is truly well-deserved. Great job! Thanks for this. Have a splendid day ahead! 
~T. Jade^^
Homework: Tell me about an accomplishment that you are most proud of.
I have a handful of notable accomplishments in my 2 years career in computer engineering.
>> I have a handful of notable accomplishments from my 2-year career in computer engineering.
The first accomplishment that comes to my mind was exceeded the recruitment number of new students in my department, thanks to my creative and ingenious ideas.
>> The first accomplishment that comes to mind is exceeding the recruitment number of new students in my department, thanks to my creative and ingenious ideas.
The department that I've worked in was a promising department with a large recruitment number of new students and abundant support from the university.
>> The department in which I've worked was a promising one, with a large recruitment number of new students and abundant support from the university.
However, the goal was not easily achieved, and various events were planned to attract people's attention.
>> Correct
With my creative thinking in events, I was able to bring new student in my department to enjoy the event.
>> With my creative thinking in events, I was able to bring new students to enjoy the event in my department.
All the endless thinking and countless problems at event were totally worth it me.
>> All the endless thinking and countless problems at the event were totally worth it for me.
What made it memorable and remarkable for me was the opportunity to showcase my successful leadership and professional skills.
>> Correct
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