¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-20 3077

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?

I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
This is the first step for own business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?


I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
>> CORRECT!
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
>> Instead, what's important is how long you have maintained the business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
>> CORRECT!
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
>> So, we need basic knowledge in order for our business to not fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
>> The businessmen tell us we have to learn the basics when working at the relevant workplace before starting the business we want.
This is the first step for own business.
>> This is the first step for owning a business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.
>> To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time without knowledge about the business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127974 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0
127973 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0
127972 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0
127971 Do you want to study English in another country? Where and why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1
127970 Why do some students need to study in academies after school? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1011
127969 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1179
127968 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1
127967 The benefits of traveling alone is know hwo am i À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1022
127966 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 2
127965 Write down answer for speaking task about \'My closest neighbor\' ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 4
127964 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1236
127963 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1
127962 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1168
127961 Homework ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1209
127960 The safest place ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 2
127959 Hw ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0
127958 What do you want to do today? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0
127957 5/3 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1043
127956 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1060
127955 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04