¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-20 2705

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?

I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
This is the first step for own business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?


I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
>> CORRECT!
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
>> Instead, what's important is how long you have maintained the business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
>> CORRECT!
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
>> So, we need basic knowledge in order for our business to not fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
>> The businessmen tell us we have to learn the basics when working at the relevant workplace before starting the business we want.
This is the first step for own business.
>> This is the first step for owning a business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.
>> To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time without knowledge about the business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130342 How bad is bullying in your country? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1
130341 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 3309
130340 What are you like when you are angry? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2
130339 What are the advantages of living in an apartment? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1966
130338 How do you feel about fusion food? Do you prefer traditional... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2616
130337 What mechanisms are necessary for people to go through in order... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1517
130336 To develop my life ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2461
130335 What are the benefits of waking up early? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2208
130334 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 3973
130333 How does showing care towards others contribute to building... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2675
130332 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1826
130331 Do you think the technology that we have right now is effective... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 3095
130330 Homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2257
130329 Have you ever committed a small/ petty crime when you were young? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2092
130328 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1974
130327 8/21 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 15
130326 Weekend activities ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1721
130325 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1788
130324 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 3
130323 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 3230

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04