¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-20 2685

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?

I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
This is the first step for own business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?


I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
>> CORRECT!
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
>> Instead, what's important is how long you have maintained the business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
>> CORRECT!
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
>> So, we need basic knowledge in order for our business to not fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
>> The businessmen tell us we have to learn the basics when working at the relevant workplace before starting the business we want.
This is the first step for own business.
>> This is the first step for owning a business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.
>> To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time without knowledge about the business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130480 Some diets seem quite strange. What¡¯s the weirdest diet you... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130479 homework 08.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1816
130478 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 3027
130477 What do you think is the most interesting nonliving thing your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1
130476 Would you rather ride a bicycle or go roller skating? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1568
130475 How does curiosity help in learning? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1914
130474 What do you like to eat for breakfast? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1629
130473 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130472 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130471 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2595
130470 What can you cook? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1681
130469 What kinds of pants do you like wearing? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1805
130468 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2877
130467 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2409
130466 Write about your most interesting travel experience. Where did... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130465 8/9 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130464 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 3
130463 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2554
130462 The reason why car is kept from entering to center of city ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2441
130461 Top of job in the world ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1847

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04