¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-20 1477

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?

I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
This is the first step for own business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?


I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
>> CORRECT!
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
>> Instead, what's important is how long you have maintained the business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
>> CORRECT!
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
>> So, we need basic knowledge in order for our business to not fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
>> The businessmen tell us we have to learn the basics when working at the relevant workplace before starting the business we want.
This is the first step for own business.
>> This is the first step for owning a business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.
>> To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time without knowledge about the business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131204 Do you prefer ordering food in person, by phone, or online? Á¤*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 864
131203 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 707
131202 WRITING TASK: What are some reasons why people might not meet... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131201 Homework ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 640
131200 sex education ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 726
131199 What food from other countries would you like to try? ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 3
131198 About silent spring. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 785
131197 Have you ever visited a national park or wildlife sanctuary?... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 859
131196 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 692
131195 What\"s your favorite about your home country? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 908
131194 Monday Homework ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131193 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131192 Do you wish you could exercise more? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131191 How do you think current wars could be stopped? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 2
131190 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131189 What are some of the most polluted cities in the world? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131188 Which family holiday is you favorite? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 453
131187 Call ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 544
131186 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 641
131185 Which school subject is least favorite why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 969

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04