¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hardest working out

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-11-20 1215

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I joined the marathon first time last year It was the hardest working out ever. It was summer and I have ran only 5 km. However I joined 10 km marathon. There were so many hills. I am not sure If I joined that marathon just now It would be easy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Thomas! 

Running needs some good training and technique to beat the time that you want to clock in. Of course, you want to be better than your last performance so you have to be on great condition physically and mentally as you run many kilometers.

Since I have never ran a marathon, I guess the degree of difficultly is tremendous and I might roll over the side of the street after just running a kilometer.

You have written a very good composition, keep it up! Study my suggestions below.

See you on Wednesday. 

-T. Donna~

When I joined the marathon first time last year It was the hardest working out ever. 
>> When I joined the marathon first time last year it was the hardest work out ever. 

It was summer and I have ran only 5 km. However I joined 10 km marathon. 
>> It was summer and I have ran only 5 kms. However, I joined the10 km marathon. 

There were so many hills. 
>> Correct!

I am not sure If I joined that marathon just now It would be easy.
>>  I am not sure if I joined that marathon now maybe it would be easier.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127900 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 219
127899 4/28 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 2
127898 5.1 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 252
127897 teenagers ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 205
127896 Essay ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 204
127895 The biggest change how families are in Korea ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 254
127894 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 0
127893 I think there are many merits if students wear a uniform of the... ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1
127892 How often should a person travel and why? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 311
127891 have you ever taken any diet supplements? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 245
127890 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 279
127889 What do you think is the i ded he ight for men in Korea? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 2
127888 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 256
127887 Do you believe that people must work hard to become successful?... õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1
127886 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 288
127885 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 4
127884 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 2
127883 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1
127882 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 1
127881 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-29 229

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04