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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you prefer, to eat everything you like, drink a lot, smoke, have no physical exercise, and d

작성자: 김*경
2023-11-20 1116

회원님의 영작문

No doubt nobody wants to die at the age of 60 which is too young to die in the era when people could overlive 100 years. The longer you live, the happier you will be. On top of that, if you could live a healthy life until your last day, it would be as good as it could be. However, health comes at the expense of turning back from the table full of fancy, fatty foods. So, Nothing sacrificed, nothing good gained. It is even more true for health.

However, there are lots of delicious foods to lure us around. To fight against the temptation is much easier said than done. It takes a strong and willful desire to get in shape and also care and support from those around us to maintain this healthy lifestyle. Life expectancy depends on God's will and plan for each person. But I hope to live as long as my life expectancy is permitted in happiness and health. I hope to accompany God throughout my life and I want to leave my footprints with some books I write about lives.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve! Well done on accomplishing your homework! You're doing really well concerning grammar; all of your sentences are correct. However, I sent revisions to improve readability and clarity.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

No doubt nobody wants to die at the age of 60 which is too young to die in the era when people could overlive 100 years. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> No doubt, nobody wants to die at the age of 60, which is too young to die in an era when people could live over 100 years.
The longer you live, the happier you will be. 
>>> CORRECT!
On top of that, if you could live a healthy life until your last day, it would be as good as it could be.
>>> CORRECT!
However, health comes at the expense of turning back from the table full of fancy, fatty foods. 
>>> CORRECT
OR>>> However, health comes at the expense of turning back from a table full of fancy, fatty foods.
So, Nothing sacrificed, nothing good gained. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> Therefore, nothing sacrificed, nothing good gained.
It is even more true for health.
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> It is particularly true for health.
However, there are lots of delicious foods to lure us around. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> However, there are lots of delicious foods to tempt us around.
To fight against the temptation is much easier said than done. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> "Resisting temptation is easier said than done."
It takes a strong and willful desire to get in shape and also care and support from those around us to maintain this healthy lifestyle. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> It takes a strong and determined desire to get in shape and also care and support from those around us to maintain this healthy lifestyle.
Life expectancy depends on God's will and plan for each person. 
>>> CORRECT!
But I hope to live as long as my life expectancy is permitted in happiness and health. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> "But I hope to live as long as my life expectancy is permitted to, in happiness and health."
I hope to accompany God throughout my life and I want to leave my footprints with some books I write about lives.
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> I want to leave my footprints on some books I write about lives.



번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
132352 Survey 권*정 완료 2023-11-12 1
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132349 Do you believe in the saying \"money is the root of all evil\"? 신*섭 완료 2023-11-11 1081
132348 No, I don\'t think so. 윤*혜 완료 2023-11-11 1109
132347 I don\'t agree. 윤*혜 완료 2023-11-11 1120
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132344 Do you care where the food you eat comes from? 에*미 완료 2023-11-11 1
132343 What kinds of international cuisine do you like? 윤*원 완료 2023-11-11 3
132342 What sports did you play as a child? What was your proudest... 이*윤 완료 2023-11-11 830
132341 If you could stop time, what would you do and why? 김*경 완료 2023-11-10 1438
132340 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-11-10 2
132339 Having hobbies 이*규 완료 2023-11-10 844
132338 homework 11.10 최*� 완료 2023-11-10 1132
132337 Where do you and your family spend your holidays? 송*우 완료 2023-11-10 1353
132336 The kpop idol’s life 이*솔 완료 2023-11-10 752
132335 homework 정*안 완료 2023-11-10 0
132334 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about “Are you... 앨* 완료 2023-11-10 1
132333 I have both an outgoing personality and an introverted... 박*율 완료 2023-11-10 956

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01
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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