¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.16

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-16 1005

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the biggest problems with living in cities?

One of the big reasons for living in city is convenience.
This is because of the transportation, cultural life, and convenience facilities located in city.
But, these days problems with living in cities is housing supply problem.
Many office workers prefer their companies located in Seoul.
And people who lived in the country side or living in cities people want to work in Seoul.
So, many office workers gather and want to live in Seoul.
However, there are It's hard to find the house they want.
In addition, young people want to leave country side and want live in Seoul.
So the problem is getting bad.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the biggest problems with living in cities?


One of the big reasons for living in city is convenience.
>> One of the big reasons for living in the city is convenience.
This is because of the transportation, cultural life, and convenience facilities located in city.
>> This is because of the transportation, cultural life, and convenient facilities located in city.
But, these days problems with living in cities is housing supply problem.
>> But, the problem these days about living in cities is the lack of homes.
Many office workers prefer their companies located in Seoul.
>> Many office workers prefer their companies be located in Seoul.
And people who lived in the country side or living in cities people want to work in Seoul.
>> And people who both live in the countryside or in cities want to work in Seoul.
So, many office workers gather and want to live in Seoul.
>> CORRECT!
However, there are It's hard to find the house they want.
>> However, it's hard to find the house they want.
In addition, young people want to leave country side and want live in Seoul.
>> In addition, young people want to leave the countryside and want to live in Seoul.
So the problem is getting bad.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131540 My schedule ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1077
131539 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 634
131538 awkward situation when i experienced talking on the phone ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 2
131537 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 664
131536 decline offer ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 692
131535 Do you think online meetings or conferences are better or worse?... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131534 Why expensive restaurants have high price of food °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131533 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 866
131532 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 620
131531 9.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131530 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1260
131529 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 858
131528 Do you think people should continue practicing their traditions... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 806
131527 homework 10.09 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1110
131526 where I want to fishing ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1002
131525 My favorite emoji ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 656
131524 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 676
131523 What was the most special thing you did for a friend in the... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 825
131522 Can You Tell which sentences are True and which are False? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1
131521 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°My favorite... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04