무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think people have fewer goals as they get older?

작성자: 김*경
2023-11-16 2275

회원님의 영작문

I think people could have fewer goals to pursue as they get older and older because they’ve come to know their place and limitation. In other words, they get more down to earth about lives as they get older. However, the odds for them to win something can go up because they can concentrate their time and abilities on fewer things. They get wiser through their lives full of ups and downs, knowing how to live wisely. This select and concentration strategy can be a powerful tool to complete something. Just dabbling in many things can’t lead us to completions. Therefore, in this respect, we should know ourselves, namely, what to do the best or the worst, what drives us to keep focused, etc. And we also should help our children know themselves as early as possible because I believe God puts some hints of our aptitude and talents inside us somewhere and puts seeds of power and ability in dormant in us as well. So if we seek to know about ourselves, I believe we can live a much happier life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve! Great job on tackling your homework with diligence. Regarding this topic, your sentences are all grammatically correct. I've made a revision for you to review.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara


I think people could have fewer goals to pursue as they get older and older because they’ve come to know their place and limitation. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> As people age, they may have fewer goals due to a better understanding of their place and limitations.
In other words, they get more down to earth about lives as they get older. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> In simpler terms, they become more realistic about life.
However, the odds for them to win something can go up because they can concentrate their time and abilities on fewer things. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> However, their chances of success can increase as they focus on a few key things.
They get wiser through their lives full of ups and downs, knowing how to live wisely. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> Through life's experiences, they grow wiser and learn how to live wisely.
This select and concentration strategy can be a powerful tool to complete something. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> Concentrating on specific goals can be a powerful strategy for achieving something.
Just dabbling in many things can’t lead us to completions. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> Dabbling in many things without focus doesn't lead to completion.
Therefore, in this respect, we should know ourselves, namely, what to do the best or the worst, what drives us to keep focused, etc. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> So, it's crucial to know ourselves – what we excel at or struggle with, what keeps us focused, etc.
And we also should help our children know themselves as early as possible because I believe God puts some hints of our aptitude and talents inside us somewhere and puts seeds of power and ability in dormant in us as well. 
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> It's also vital to help children discover themselves early. I believe God provides hints about our abilities and talents, placing dormant seeds of power within us.
So if we seek to know about ourselves, I believe we can live a much happier life.
>>> CORRECT!!
OR>>> Understanding ourselves allows us to lead happier lives.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
130294 Homework 김*영 완료 2023-08-18 2547
130293 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG 완료 2023-08-18 1774
130292 What do you enjoy most about water parks? 임*호 완료 2023-08-18 0
130291 What do you include in your ideal fitness program? 이*양 완료 2023-08-18 2924
130290 homwork 박*준 완료 2023-08-18 1927
130289 If given the chance, what policies in Korea do you wish to... 정*아 완료 2023-08-18 2164
130288 How do you find balance between work and personal life? 정*아 완료 2023-08-18 1640
130287 Do you take vitamins? Do they really help people, or do they... 조*지 완료 2023-08-18 1
130286 Would you allow Lucy to sleep on your bed? Why or why not? 김*규 완료 2023-08-18 0
130285 What makes healthy lifestyle important? 홍*기 완료 2023-08-17 1933
130284 What do you think is an effective way to encourage people to... 최*은 완료 2023-08-17 2159
130283 Homework 김*님 완료 2023-08-17 1471
130282 homework 08.17 최*� 완료 2023-08-17 1817
130281 Homework 권*미 완료 2023-08-17 0
130280 Would you rather be half-Korean or full-blooded Korean? Why? 김*민 완료 2023-08-17 2
130279 To compare which is difficult in English. 최*환 완료 2023-08-17 2825
130278 Focus something on my life. 최*환 완료 2023-08-17 1645
130277 Benefits of losing weights 최*환 완료 2023-08-17 2708
130276 What career opportunities are there for the younger generation... 조*민 완료 2023-08-17 2225
130275 What\'s a memory that makes you happy? 박*현 완료 2023-08-17 1988

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]