¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

pention

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-11-16 2362

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is sad the word 'elder poverty'.

At the end of life, if we suffer from poverty and disease we are very unhappy.

There has big problem a basic pention in Korea.

All the age of 65 receive the same pention even the rich and wealthy.

I argue that basic pension should be divided according to their property and occupational pensions.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Ms. Lily!
It is indeed a sad thing that elderly people end up being poor, not only in your country but globally. A lot of people have not prepared for their retirement so there are times when they rely on their children. Another connected issue here is when their children can't support them, where are they going to get their basic needs?
Aki~

It is sad the word 'elder poverty'. 
>>> The word elderly poverty sounds sad.

At the end of life, if we suffer from poverty and disease we are very unhappy.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> At the end of life, suffering from poverty and disease causes great unhappiness.

There has big problem a basic pention in Korea.
>>> There is a big problem a basic pensions in Korea.

All the age of 65 receive the same pention even the rich and wealthy.
>>> All the age of 65, everyone receives the same pension even the rich and wealthy.

I argue that basic pensions should be divided according to their property and occupational pensions.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >> I propose that basic pensions should be split based on property and occupational pensions.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131068 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1505
131067 Are cars an extension of personality ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2626
131066 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1449
131065 What daily activities do you have that you enjoy the most? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2
131064 What¡¯s the worst natural disaster in your opinion? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2
131063 malaria ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 853
131062 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1334
131061 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1050
131060 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1
131059 Important factors in determining price of a property : location... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2
131058 What animal best represents you? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2
131057 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1573
131056 A first impression that can change °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 5
131055 What does the phrase \"be the change\" mean? Please respond in... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1692
131054 homework 09.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1152
131053 What\'s your thought on tipping in a fast-food restaurant? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 4
131052 My criminal experience. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1345
131051 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131050 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131049 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04