¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.14

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-14 2049

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can snow be dangerous?

When it snows, I feel that start the real winter season.
But, if it snows too much, there are many dangerous things.
I think the first of them is a green(plastic) house.
Many farmers using greenhouses to grow the fruits and the vegetables in winter.
However, if there are stack too much snow, the snow will destroy the greenhouse.
Similarly, the weak roofs houses can collapse because snow.
Next, the road freezes.
If we don\'t remove the snow on the road, the road becomes icy like an ice skating rink.
So many car can't move, or many people slip and get hurt.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can snow be dangerous?


When it snows, I feel that start the real winter season.
>> When it snows, I feel that it's already the start of the real winter season.
But, if it snows too much, there are many dangerous things.
>> CORRECT!
I think the first of them is a green(plastic) house.
>> I think the first of them is the green (plastic) house.
Many farmers using greenhouses to grow the fruits and the vegetables in winter.
>> Many farmers use greenhouses to grow the fruits and the vegetables in winter.
However, if there are stack too much snow, the snow will destroy the greenhouse.
>> However, if there is a big stack of snow, the snow will destroy the greenhouse.
Similarly, the weak roofs houses can collapse because snow.
>> Similarly, the weak houses' roofs can collapse because of the snow.
Next, the road freezes.
>> Next are the frozen roads.
If we don\'t remove the snow on the road, the road becomes icy like an ice skating rink.
>> If we don't remove the snow on the road, the road becomes icy like an ice skating rink.
So many car can't move, or many people slip and get hurt.
>> So many cars can't move, or many people slip and get hurt.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133572 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 660
133571 we each go to play separately, such as meeting friends or going... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1938
133570 I don\'t want to change it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1690
133569 I\'m watching Netflix while eating tangerines while lying on the... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 675
133568 What are your goals for the New Year? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1
133567 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Would you like... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1
133566 What are your New Year\'s resolutions? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1325
133565 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1008
133564 What is the best place you have visited? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 792
133563 New year\'s resolution. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1
133562 12.28 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 3
133561 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 3
133560 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1348
133559 my introduce ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 4
133558 I think that is good thing. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 1348
133557 I want to go on a world trip if I can travel anywhere in the... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 815
133556 I don\'t know. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 1137
133555 I wouldn\'t want it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 1090
133554 >> How much do you value your privacy? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2
133553 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 248

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04