¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.14

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-14 2427

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can snow be dangerous?

When it snows, I feel that start the real winter season.
But, if it snows too much, there are many dangerous things.
I think the first of them is a green(plastic) house.
Many farmers using greenhouses to grow the fruits and the vegetables in winter.
However, if there are stack too much snow, the snow will destroy the greenhouse.
Similarly, the weak roofs houses can collapse because snow.
Next, the road freezes.
If we don\'t remove the snow on the road, the road becomes icy like an ice skating rink.
So many car can't move, or many people slip and get hurt.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can snow be dangerous?


When it snows, I feel that start the real winter season.
>> When it snows, I feel that it's already the start of the real winter season.
But, if it snows too much, there are many dangerous things.
>> CORRECT!
I think the first of them is a green(plastic) house.
>> I think the first of them is the green (plastic) house.
Many farmers using greenhouses to grow the fruits and the vegetables in winter.
>> Many farmers use greenhouses to grow the fruits and the vegetables in winter.
However, if there are stack too much snow, the snow will destroy the greenhouse.
>> However, if there is a big stack of snow, the snow will destroy the greenhouse.
Similarly, the weak roofs houses can collapse because snow.
>> Similarly, the weak houses' roofs can collapse because of the snow.
Next, the road freezes.
>> Next are the frozen roads.
If we don\'t remove the snow on the road, the road becomes icy like an ice skating rink.
>> If we don't remove the snow on the road, the road becomes icy like an ice skating rink.
So many car can't move, or many people slip and get hurt.
>> So many cars can't move, or many people slip and get hurt.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136589 How do we prevent burnout? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-21 1501
136588 change the hotel ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-21 1
136587 Do you prefer eating lunch together with your... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-21 5
136586 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-21 3
136585 Page.56 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 0
136584 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 1676
136583 How do you think society\'s definition of beauty has changed... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 1414
136582 Is traveling and visiting every country one of your goals in... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 1
136581 My shape ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 1504
136580 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 4
136579 How should we advertise ourselves? What are the dos and don\'ts? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136578 homework 04.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1538
136577 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1314
136576 Are there any controversies or concerns related to the use of... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1683
136575 HAPPY ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1319
136574 What ride do you like the most in an amusement park? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1307
136573 Keeping up with something ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1977
136572 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1729
136571 What can we learn from failure? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1068
136570 What architects mean to me. ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1353

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04