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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

If you had the power to stop and restart time, when would you use it?

작성자: 김*경
2023-11-14 3374

회원님의 영작문

I hope to use the superpower in three situations.
First, I would use that special power to rescue more people in disasters, such as earthquakes or tsunamis because sometimes I was told that rescue teams should have reached people in need a little earlier. As you know, rescue works are a matter of time.
Second, I would use this fantastic ability personally to get better points in my school days. Almost all students feel the lack of time to finish answering the questions on the test.
Lastly, I would use this power when I feel like having a me-time. I spend a hectic day with work from the company and home. So occasionally, I need to have a me-time, which is much easier said than done. So, I would use the power to stop and restart time to secure my leisure time without missing my responsibilities as father or husband.
Anyway, just thinking of fun imagination can help me rehabilitated from all stress from my daily routines. Thanks for letting me distracted from my strained life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Steve! Well done on working diligently on your homework. Good job! Your answer is very creative and out of the box.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

I hope to use the superpower in three situations.
>>> CORRECT!
First, I would use that special power to rescue more people in disasters, such as earthquakes or tsunamis because sometimes I was told that rescue teams should have reached people in need a little earlier. 
>>> First, I would use that special power to rescue more people in disasters, such as earthquakes or tsunamis, because sometimes I've heard that rescue teams could have reached people in need a little earlier.
As you know, rescue works are a matter of time.
>>> CORRECT!
Second, I would use this fantastic ability personally to get better points in my school days.
>>> CORRECT!
Almost all students feel the lack of time to finish answering the questions on the test.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> Almost all students feel the pressure of time constraints when answering questions on a test.
Lastly, I would use this power when I feel like having a me-time. 
>>> CORRECT!
I spend a hectic day with work from the company and home. 
>>> CORRECT!
So occasionally, I need to have a me-time, which is much easier said than done. 
>>> CORRECT!
So, I would use the power to stop and restart time to secure my leisure time without missing my responsibilities as father or husband.
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> So, I would use the power to stop and restart time to secure my leisure time without neglecting my responsibilities as a father or husband.
Anyway, just thinking of fun imagination can help me rehabilitated from all stress from my daily routines. 
>>> Anyway, just thinking about fun imagination can help me recover from all the stress in my daily routines.
Thanks for letting me distracted from my strained life.
>>>Thanks for letting me be distracted from my strained life.





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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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